Star Wars: Episode 2 - Attack of the Clones
No More Late FeesMay 06, 2024x
5
01:30:0482.46 MB

Star Wars: Episode 2 - Attack of the Clones

This week, Jackie and Danielle as well as returning guest Maria dive into the wild world of "Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones." Join them as they dissect Anakin Skywalker's turbulent romance with Padmé Amidala, unravel the mystery of the clone army, and explore the galaxy's seedy underbelly. From epic battles to forbidden love, we'll cover it all with their signature blend of humor and insight.

Discover the secret behind Count Dooku's sinister plans, debate the merits of Jedi wisdom, and uncover the true puppet masters behind the Clone Wars. Strap in for a podcast experience that's more thrilling than podracing and more dramatic than a lightsaber duel.

Starring: Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen, Ian McDiarmid, Samuel L. Jackson, Christopher Lee, Temuera Morrison, Anthony Daniels Kenny Baker, and Frank Oz

·Season 4 Episode 5·

No More Late Fees 

www.nomorelatefeespodcast.com

909-601-NMLF (6653)

CONQUERing

⁠myconquering.com⁠

Coupon: JACKIE10

Maria

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mariawatcheseverything/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mariawatcheseverything

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/nomorelatefees/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/nomorelatefees/support

[00:00:00] Peace never lasts forever, well not in the Star Wars universe at least. That's right,

[00:00:05] we're diving headfirst into the sandy wasteland of Tatooine and the bustling cityscape of Coruscant

[00:00:12] in Attack of the Clones. Get ready because this episode is full of forbidden love,

[00:00:18] creepy clones, and a whole lot of Anakin thirsting.

[00:00:35] Welcome to the No More Late Fees podcast. I'm Jackie. And I'm Danielle and we're just two

[00:00:40] best friends and ex-blockbuster employees rewatching some of the best and worst movies from the late

[00:00:45] 90s and early 2000s. This week we are talking about the 2002 film Star Wars Episode 2,

[00:00:52] Attack of the Clones in celebration of Star Wars Day. May the fourth be with you.

[00:01:01] But before we dive in, let's get into some housekeeping.

[00:01:07] If you love the podcast and you want to support us, here's a few ways that you can. Leave us a

[00:01:13] review please. Any platform, wherever you listen to us, five stars. Thank you. And don't forget

[00:01:23] to hit subscribe to our show when you're on your favorite podcast platform because then it

[00:01:29] alerts you when new episodes are live. And the party is over at Patreon. Seriously,

[00:01:35] you need to hop on over there, become a Patreon bestie, check out our exclusive content. We

[00:01:41] have behind the scenes. We have bonus footage, all of the stuff that hit the cutting room floor,

[00:01:46] patreon.com slash no more late fees. But we are not alone. Joining us this week

[00:01:53] is returning guest and Anakin Skywalker apologist, Maria.

[00:01:57] I'm so happy to have you back. Always a pleasure when you join us and we laugh so hard when you're

[00:02:18] with us. We always have so much fun here. If you want to get some, know Maria a little better,

[00:02:26] come back later this week as we discuss our love for hot villains. The tea is piping hot y'all

[00:02:33] on our bonus episode, but you can also check out our other episodes with Maria,

[00:02:38] bend it like Beckham and holes. Third time's the charm for attack of the clone.

[00:02:45] It's about time whenever you guys mentioned like, oh, we're going to discuss this movie. I was

[00:02:50] like, yes. This is my jam. Well, let's get into your jam. I'm going to give a brief synopsis. If

[00:03:02] you've been living under a rock about episode two set 10 years after the events of the Phantom

[00:03:09] Menace, the Republic continues to be mired in strife and chaos. Separate movements encompassing

[00:03:16] hundreds of planets and powerful corporate alliances poses new threats to the galaxy

[00:03:21] that even the Jedi cannot stem. I wouldn't be honest with you. I think this is the first time

[00:03:26] I've heard like what the movie is about. None of this sounds familiar either. I'm like,

[00:03:33] I don't think I've watched this movie so many times. I don't think I could explain what it's

[00:03:37] about. Can't even after reading this, I won't be able to explain it. These moves long planned

[00:03:43] by an as yet unrevealed and powerful force lead to the beginning of the Clone Wars

[00:03:48] and the beginning of the end of the Republic.

[00:03:54] Wait, can I just say though, like the synopsis when I was watching the movie is that Palme

[00:03:58] and Anakin fall in love and that's it. That's like what Disney Plus had on there.

[00:04:04] It's like Palme and Anakin secretly fall in love and I'm like so much more happens in

[00:04:08] this movie. But okay, go with this movie. That's the least of our worries in this movie.

[00:04:16] There's a little bit of sand. There's a lot of love. There's a lot of killing and robots.

[00:04:24] The outfits are great though. The outfits are hidden.

[00:04:30] Well, the movie stars Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman,

[00:04:34] Hayden Christensen, Ian McDiarmid, Samuel L. Jackson, Christopher Lee, Tamira Morrison,

[00:04:42] Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker and Frank Oz. The movie of course was directed by George Lucas.

[00:04:48] The screenplay was written by George Lucas and Jonathan Hales. You can watch it currently on

[00:04:54] Disney Plus but before we start let's get into our ratings rewind.

[00:04:58] So you know the drill. Before we get into the movie, we'll reveal the rating or Y2K

[00:05:02] versions of ourselves we give and then at the end we'll see if our current selves agree

[00:05:07] with our initial rating. Our scale consists of would buy it, would buy it again, the best

[00:05:12] would play on repeat, five day rental, would watch again, two day rental, okay but nothing

[00:05:20] to write home about, insane day rental, put them in a sand dune and swallow them up in

[00:05:24] the universe. It's fucking trash. Yeah honestly I think that's like we watched it once that's

[00:05:32] enough. So Mariah, uh, same day rental? Like why would you rewatch this movie?

[00:05:45] Okay I want to assume that my childhood self because I remember we I rewatched the movie

[00:05:50] with the ratings in mind and I'm like maybe as a child with Hayden with the fact that like oh

[00:05:56] it's so cool with like the special effects I would have liked it. I mean I would have

[00:06:01] done a two day rental at the top like I'm assuming I would have done two day rental

[00:06:04] at that time okay at that time. At that time.

[00:06:12] I love that you're like when you were a child and I was like I saw this in college

[00:06:16] and I was in high school. I was like 15 in high school and like enamored by the man so

[00:06:25] I saw this in college and I remember being super psyched for it like I hadn't given up hope.

[00:06:33] I saw the first sequel Phantom Menace, was not happy with it but I said you know what

[00:06:40] George is gonna come through he's not gonna disappoint your girl a second time around

[00:06:44] he just thought it's not gonna happen and I remember I had a group of friends we went

[00:06:49] and stood in line this was gonna be it and you know the smartest thing they did was put that

[00:06:56] Yoda fight scene at the end closer to the end of the movie because I do remember that being

[00:07:02] like yo this movie was shit but that scene though Yoda was that was top tier. So my rating

[00:07:12] at the time was definitely two day rental because I was like I'm still gonna go back and

[00:07:15] re-watch it because I would not let my love for Star Wars die. Yeah that and the fact that we cast

[00:07:22] hot people you know I was not interested in and not one of the cast members.

[00:07:31] That was if Harrison Ford was not in these movies I did not. Oh valid yeah you cannot

[00:07:41] touch young Harrison Ford. Yeah unlike Danielle, burn me once George not again so I did not see

[00:07:50] this in the Y2K. I waited until I was a full grown adult to try and watch this. I did have

[00:07:57] to call Ken at one point and I'm like I need you to explain this movie to me. Impossible.

[00:08:04] So the first time I ever watched it as a grown-up was probably a year ago

[00:08:11] maybe two years ago because I'm like I'm gonna watch all of them in

[00:08:15] machete order. As I'm watching I'm like hold on wait a minute. Clones they talk about

[00:08:21] are human or like humanoid they're not the robots and he's like no why would they be

[00:08:27] the robots? I'm like that's all you saw in the trailers for 25 years. I thought the clones

[00:08:34] are the robots the droids that come out and attack everyone. I'm like so the clones are in

[00:08:40] this movie for like less than two minutes and they get top billing. I don't understand and he

[00:08:48] was just like looking at me you know when Jessica Simpson is like is this tuna or is this

[00:08:54] chicken? The way Nicolache looked at her is the way Ken was looking at me about not

[00:09:01] understanding that the robots were not the clones. No no so and I wanted to make it clear

[00:09:07] it's just so valid because so though I like loved Hayden Christensen growing up and I knew

[00:09:12] very much about that like Star Wars lore I didn't actually watch any of these movies until

[00:09:16] three years ago where I like sat down and I remember this was the movie that was like my

[00:09:21] rate limiting step like I would just like stopped and I'm like I don't understand this one

[00:09:26] guys and like so many people like stitched me and like were like trying to explain it to me

[00:09:30] and they talk it to me the movie does not make sense. Simply put the clones this whole time were

[00:09:37] good they were clones what they weren't robots no it's so valid. I have valid so I did record

[00:09:46] my conversation with Ken it's like three minutes long but he does a really good job

[00:09:53] of explaining so I can play that for us so and he's at the tracks so there might be loud

[00:09:59] noises but.

[00:10:59] From the Republic got it so the Republic turns into the Empire and the separatists turn into

[00:11:04] the rebel alliance okay right so it's like the roles are reversed in the first three movies which

[00:11:12] is probably where you're getting confused is the first three movies the bad guys are the

[00:11:15] good guys and four five six okay but but okay yes and that's why the droids are attacking

[00:11:23] Anakin and Obi-Wan. Yeah the trade federation is who's building the droids it's just the

[00:11:28] genocides are building them for the trade and they're in so the droids are just easily cheap

[00:11:34] made things so they don't have to and then when they find out the clone army was ordered by

[00:11:40] I think it's how deep you actually or them but you know they they painted out another Jedi

[00:11:44] that died for a long time yeah yeah so he didn't have anything to do with it but that

[00:11:49] was the that's you know who they had in the books he was the Patsy yes but he was murdered

[00:11:55] so anyway so you're asking about the droids where they came from the separatists built them in

[00:12:00] order to you know basically do the blockade of Naboo okay and then start you know they

[00:12:05] ramped up production of the you know they are too and see three people like running through

[00:12:09] the factory yeah they're trying to get stamped out and stuff like that yeah yeah that's

[00:12:13] that's because uh you know they're just building the droids as fast as they can

[00:12:17] so it goes on from there but that's essentially in a nutshell you know what got me tell me was

[00:12:26] when I was watching the newer three movies and the fanboys were mad about Finn being a black man

[00:12:35] thank you and so then I was reading the discussions beside like what exactly was so bad why are you

[00:12:44] so mad and they were talking about how the stormtroopers were supposed to be clones and

[00:12:52] I said say well now clones and so that that's that little pebble stayed in my brain

[00:12:59] because then somebody was going well that changed after so and so and then people started

[00:13:05] to sign up yes to be the stormtroopers so I was like okay okay now exactly rewatching it back

[00:13:13] I'm like oh shit these the clones that the fanboys were talking about yes and that's like

[00:13:20] it's like so freaking confusing I low-key think attack of clones kind of made it worse

[00:13:26] yeah for that reason like because like I like the idea that people just like were like yeah we

[00:13:34] agree with this because we've seen this with our like modern culture of people being like yeah

[00:13:38] that sure is a low-key fool so like yeah you know I could see people signing up for it or like

[00:13:43] being recruited into it because they had no choice right it probably was until he was just

[00:13:48] like wait I have a choice let me help people right so like whenever this clone thing happened

[00:13:53] that's why I was so confused because I'm like wait they were clones for a bounty hunter

[00:13:59] so I did ask Ken about that because he's like yeah that's what the clones but they

[00:14:04] accelerated their aging process to grow them quicker yeah and so they died off quicker and

[00:14:11] so in so uh in solo Han was going to sign up to be a stormtrooper and then

[00:14:19] and I don't like solo very much I refuse to see it that did happen but like you know

[00:14:25] don't lovers in it so like I watched it obviously and so was Amelia Clarke but yeah

[00:14:29] yeah well and and Ken has very hard opinions about most things but solo he's like if they

[00:14:36] had just called it a star wars story and it wasn't Han Solo in the main character he's like

[00:14:41] it was a great movie it was just not Han Solo's story like I refuse to believe it's on solo's

[00:14:47] story and I think that's why everyone has a hard time with it because I'm not a Han Solo

[00:14:52] girly even though I love Harrison Ford I love Harrison Ford don't look at me like that

[00:14:58] Danielle I love him we all have our favorite soloist characters he loves competition that's

[00:15:06] fine for me Harrison Ford is peak in Indiana Jones personally I do love a ripped shirt

[00:15:14] but the button got like professor vibes yeah like anyways okay but like yeah no I'm not a Han

[00:15:23] I guess like I expected too much but yeah no Solo just didn't do it for me as much I love

[00:15:28] I love the casting was great it's just yeah but like Rogue I maybe even compared it to Rogue

[00:15:34] One too much Rogue One is one is yeah one of my favorite outside of the original it's

[00:15:40] a good movie I think it's just a great movie and then it happens to be Star Wars yeah they

[00:15:46] need to do more of that I think Mandalorian is in line with that as well yeah that's why I love

[00:15:51] Mandalorian so much like it's just like I loved Obi-Wan but I like Obi-Wan in a sense

[00:15:57] that it's a Star Wars right project but I like Mandalorian in the sense that I love

[00:16:03] the show of Mandalorian so it's different yeah and Attack of the Clones is very much like oh

[00:16:09] I watched it because it was in the Star Wars universe yeah right I don't know if Carrie Fisher

[00:16:16] helped with ghost writing on this one at all we learned that she was a ghost writer for a

[00:16:21] lot of different movies and in the original Star Wars movies George would ask her to kind

[00:16:28] of fix a few things she is called a script doctor for a reason she's one of the she was

[00:16:34] one of the best and I really feel like this movie needed a woman's touch 100% like watching

[00:16:44] the Anakin Padme scenes made me want to pull my hair out because I'm like who talks like

[00:16:51] this who talks to each other like this what woman does this and that's where I was like

[00:16:56] okay there's no female perspective in this whatsoever and Hayden Christensen does play

[00:17:03] though everyone's like it's really bad acting but I have to say you have some of the best

[00:17:08] actors you could have in this movie honestly and it was the direction it was the script

[00:17:15] because it's the dialogue because Natalie Portman is a great actress Hayden Christensen I've seen

[00:17:22] him do some pretty good stuff life is a house like yeah he was great in that and I look I know

[00:17:27] I'm a Hayden girlie but I'm like he did what he had to do with like the cadence of like Darth

[00:17:33] Vader like he was definitely like stealing his shame all like he was trying to do that cadence

[00:17:39] it's the dialogue who talks about seeing when they're flirting right it's like I I know that

[00:17:47] George Lucas has been with a woman but after watching this movie I'm like but has he

[00:17:57] has he been with a woman before that was his part I

[00:18:05] I was ranting about this movie to Ken and I was just like it makes no sense there's no

[00:18:12] reason for Padme to fall in love with Anakin makes again makes no sense he's got no game

[00:18:19] and Ken goes well there is a fan theory that Anakin was using the force on her the whole time

[00:18:26] oh okay I hate that but this is the one little fun fact I actually didn't know this

[00:18:34] fun fact I looked it up for this so the aggressive negotiation conversation between

[00:18:40] Anakin and Padme which I will say is the cutest part of the flirtation between them the most

[00:18:45] organic part is the one that they ad-libbed he like that just like to say like George Lucas

[00:18:52] wrote everything else but the one time where he's just like be cute and romantic and have like

[00:18:56] a little dialogue and like pad like you know obviously like Hayden and Natalie like

[00:19:01] Hallib which by the way I low-key believe that they were dating during this time saying

[00:19:05] I was like they like that's the cutest one like the whole pair scene like you know aggressive

[00:19:10] negotiation when they were just being themselves it is the most like natural and the one that

[00:19:16] actually sells it the most and it's the one that they outlived and the one that George

[00:19:19] Lucas didn't write and I think that speaks for itself we should have let them all just let

[00:19:26] just let them yeah go on their way because I do feel like he was very stressed making this

[00:19:33] movie and writing this movie because the last movie made like so many people upset

[00:19:42] and I think one of the things that I had to keep in perspective re-watching this movie was

[00:19:47] that viral conversation with Freddie Prinze Jr. where he talks about how the reason that so

[00:19:55] many people don't like the newer Star Wars movies is because the first Star Wars movies

[00:19:59] were made for kids essentially I feel like the first set of Star Wars movies were

[00:20:06] made for teenagers fanboys like George Lucas and his peeps I think this second set was

[00:20:13] definitely target especially the first one was targeted at younger kids and that's why we got

[00:20:20] Jar Jar Binks that's why we had the young Anakin and I think by the time we got to

[00:20:26] racing right like so when Freddie Prinze Jr. said that these movies were for the next generation

[00:20:33] of kids it wasn't for us and when I look at our generation Jackie we're like at the cusp

[00:20:39] because we were not in that set of of the second the the prequel yeah we were too young

[00:20:46] for the first trilogy and too old for the second trilogy right so that's why we get the

[00:20:53] last trilogy I don't even know if that's for me either I think that's for another set of kids

[00:20:59] I love the last trilogy and Force Awakens one of my favorite comfort movies

[00:21:08] that's Last Jedi for me like I have to re-watch it because oh my god I can go off about

[00:21:14] the flesh I think it's like a perfect Star Wars movie I think the dialogue for George

[00:21:19] Lucas I think he has like the sci-fi big story building mentality it's just he doesn't know how

[00:21:25] to write dialogue and I think the dialogue really hurts all the prequels I think the fact

[00:21:33] that it's made for kids makes sense I think the characters make sense I even think like

[00:21:37] the little bad like you know I know they didn't use like actual like effects like they did in

[00:21:43] the original like see and like everyone hates that but like I think it makes sense because

[00:21:47] at the time of 2000s like those like visual effects were so prevalent that everyone used it

[00:21:53] so like it makes sense even me watching it now I'm like you know what it's so 2000s that like

[00:21:58] it it's like this little time capsule that it worked for the time it came out it's the

[00:22:03] dialogue I think the hardest part of the whole people like series is the dialogue yes and

[00:22:09] I also think that he was trying to make a love story the reason why the first three do does

[00:22:17] well is because they are at war right yeah and so you see Leia and Han Solo develop their

[00:22:24] relationship even before we knew Luke was her brother there was even that flirtation but

[00:22:29] it was like small moments bite-sized moments in between a lot of action between a lot of

[00:22:35] things happening and I think this movie slowed down way too much because there wasn't the action

[00:22:42] part until we get to the end like the two of them are just having this romantic thing right

[00:22:50] but it wasn't romantic at all so they should have stuck to the formula that works which is

[00:22:55] a little bit of light love in the afternoon in the midst of fighting and I think that

[00:23:01] would have worked better I also didn't like that Ewan McGregor was away from Anakin and

[00:23:10] any any like Hayden was playing the the angsty teenager this is giving very much the what

[00:23:17] is it the fourth or fifth Harry Potter movie where the fifth movie where he's just like

[00:23:25] in angry but just the execution wasn't the greatest because again we're the dialogue that

[00:23:32] we're dealing with and you're right it is unbelievable that Padme even find this attractive

[00:23:40] like what is it about him and so when I watched it was with my sister she had net she's

[00:23:47] never seen a Star Wars movie and this is her introduction and this is her introduction

[00:23:55] and what really got us was the fact that there were many times

[00:24:03] that there were red flags ahead of them actually consummating or being together

[00:24:10] that she should have walked away 100% yeah when he killed all the Tusken Raiders

[00:24:17] oh and he came back with that speech where he's just like casually bringing up fascism

[00:24:25] right my sister left because when he was like maybe that's what worked dictatorship and I was

[00:24:31] like yeah maybe that is what works and my sister was like not no Danielle no and like

[00:24:39] the thing is like we've talked about this before too with the whole like oh Padme

[00:24:42] grooming and all this stuff like just smiling like not saying anything like you mean

[00:24:49] dictatorship homie what can we stop let's not like you know tumble in the weeds of a port

[00:24:55] like like yeah you're the meadows right now let's like talk about the fact that you've just

[00:24:59] brought up dictatorship and I'm a senator right he's like I don't trust senator yeah but

[00:25:07] with the youngest senator my thing with like George Lucas it's like I need to understand

[00:25:11] what his like feelings are about women because how do you write Leia how do you write Padme how

[00:25:15] do you write like write Skywalker and then have these men these women fall in love with these

[00:25:20] type of men yes because it's like how do you write such strong amazing female characters but

[00:25:25] they have terrible taste in men like nothing against Kylo Ren but like what because that is

[00:25:30] what he these men write themselves there right yeah the patriarchy if you look at who George

[00:25:38] Lucas is attracted to and who he has married and dated and whatever that's true he likes strong

[00:25:46] women and I'm not saying this is George Lucas I don't know him but from what his characters

[00:25:51] show me he may be one of those weaker men and this is the conversation that happens on the

[00:25:58] internet all the time where it's you have these men the Andrew Tate followers of the world

[00:26:05] they don't go for the pick me women that they go for the women that they want to be able to tear

[00:26:13] down break down and bring them down to their level and that's well that they want them

[00:26:18] like they want to cage that bird they want the free spirit but they want to cage her

[00:26:23] and like I think that's what I hate about it like maybe not what Padme and Anakin as much

[00:26:27] but like I hate that with Leia and like Han a lot so I'm just like why would Leia go for

[00:26:33] Han Solo but now I but honestly I get it because it's like if it wasn't hitting

[00:26:38] Christmas and playing Anakin why would I'm it like why would Padme go for Anakin it makes

[00:26:44] actually no sense the thing is Han Solo was never trying to cage that bird he was trying

[00:26:50] to fuck that bird and go about his life there's a difference I think he just fell in

[00:26:56] love with her yeah it was an accident it was I'm serious I really if you watch his action

[00:27:03] there's nothing that man did that was him really trying like the woman said I love you and he said

[00:27:11] I know that was all you needed to see Red Flag on the food not a hot soul is nothing but

[00:27:20] red flags you can make a dress with those flags yeah and and that's fine Han Solo is the hot guy

[00:27:25] you date before you marry a real decent dude you don't marry the Han Solo because she married

[00:27:33] him too I don't need like I feel like I feel like Anakin is a bigger Red Flag than Han

[00:27:40] oh no he 100 and especially for Padme who is like the youngest senator who is one who

[00:27:47] once had the literally her whole people like voted so she could be at the senator for them

[00:27:53] another term she was just like no I'm done how does she I don't I don't it's okay it's

[00:28:00] just because he's hot it's he's hot but also I think she has she has a strong empathy for

[00:28:09] him but when his mother dies and just like being there it was trauma bonding essentially

[00:28:17] and he was in such a like shitty place and his motherfucker lost his arm yes let's get married

[00:28:22] let's do it because I'm in parliament or whatever with bugs and shit and married men so

[00:28:29] I'm gonna take this hottie that's true I feel like also the fact that he's a Jedi also

[00:28:34] like how well like I really do respect Leia a little bit more for that reason because she did

[00:28:39] you know they did were separated I do think she like recognized so like Han was like because

[00:28:43] Han's also just the hot guy at that time to be honest but like Leia was just like no this is

[00:28:50] not my worth I didn't do so much more and she became the general and like she just did so much

[00:28:54] more in the sequels but I think with Padme also she died young it was tragic everything

[00:28:59] the hiding of secrecy the and you could tell that she like you know like okay so this is

[00:29:04] going to a wretched set territory but like you know Anakin you're breaking my heart like

[00:29:09] maybe she just believed in him she saw him when he was a kid and saw how good he was and

[00:29:16] she saw this she was a horrible guy like looking at her like this okay you know and she should

[00:29:23] have been seeing the signs but let's talk about the box office really quick because

[00:29:28] as much as we don't like this movie we're not dealing with the budget for this movie was

[00:29:35] $115 million it made $653.8 million worldwide that's a lot of cash yeah funny enough this

[00:29:47] was the first Star Wars movie that was not the top grossing film of the year in North America

[00:29:53] it placed actually third after Spider-Man and The Lord of the Rings The Two Towers

[00:29:58] it remained the only one to not reach the number one spot until it was joined by Star

[00:30:04] Wars The Clone Wars in 2008 Solo a Star Wars story in 2018 and then Star Wars The Rise of

[00:30:12] Skywalker in 2019 so this also was the most expensive Star Wars film until Star Wars Force

[00:30:20] Awakens in 2015 and that one had an estimated budget of 200 million lots of money but it

[00:30:26] was a disappointment essentially in the box office but we do have to look at that time period it

[00:30:32] was very competitive with that let's hear a word from our pod pals hello everyone my name is Ben

[00:30:43] Grove and my name is Rob McFarlane and together we are the Every Movie Ever podcast we've

[00:30:49] always found refuge in movies we love them all from sci-fi horror to Oscar winning drama

[00:30:54] and so bad they're good b-movies each of us has had major mental struggles I'm sober

[00:30:58] I should be trauma mental breakdowns and to make sure that we checked in with our best

[00:31:03] mate at least once a week we started the Every Movie Ever podcast join us as we survey the

[00:31:07] worst movies in the world and the cinematic gems that you may have missed so whether you're a

[00:31:12] fan of Batman or billboard Godzilla or god level writing we've got episodes done hundreds to come

[00:31:18] Nick Frost says we can't do every movie ever but we'll show him some fried gold find us on

[00:31:23] Spotify or Apple podcasts or anywhere else click the link in our bio to find us consume

[00:31:28] boom

[00:31:33] and we're back and we're going to talk about cast and crew Maria you want to tell us a little bit

[00:31:39] about who was in the running with your beloved Hayden Christensen for the role I'm actually

[00:31:44] like yeah finding this out was actually really shocking to me but we have I'm in

[00:31:48] the Philippines Nisha Collins Paul Walker Carl Hanks Christian Bale Heath Ledger James Van Der

[00:31:54] who is Dawson's Creek and then Joshua Jackson what I would have died if Joshua Jackson was

[00:32:02] Anakin Skywalker.

[00:32:15] Which I'm very shocked that he did not get it to be honest with you John's

[00:32:19] audition even at that time yes even at the time because when he did Romeo and Juliet he was like

[00:32:26] 21 oh I guess that was a lot earlier than that was 96 yeah so he was too he was too old but

[00:32:33] Eric Von Denton I can't that greasy hair that you can't get over that boy had a toe

[00:32:40] called it on his dizzy drawl to say he did but he was no Anakin Skywalker but he's Heath

[00:32:46] Ledger Brian Philippi these are like Christian Bale these are they were all too old but they had

[00:32:54] and this is no knock on Hayden because I do think he in not in this role but in other roles he

[00:33:01] he acts well but I feel like he has more of a dramatic character niche where like I felt

[00:33:09] like if Anakin had a little bit of swagger a little bit of like Heath Ledger and 10 things

[00:33:14] I hate about you like it would have elevated the character so much more and then Padme had a reason

[00:33:22] yeah so I so this is my thing about like Hayden because I will admit that I don't think

[00:33:27] because I do love the guy but anyways he auditioned and like this is like one of

[00:33:31] my favorite things that Hayden always says like he always talks about him getting the role

[00:33:35] he was like like in with his roommate he was like 20 years old this is just like a fun fact

[00:33:40] about him because I know fun facts but he got the role and then like him and his roommate had

[00:33:46] like a like a lightsaber fight as soon as he found out that he was Anakin Skywalker which is

[00:33:51] like the cutest thing ever I love keeping that Hayden is just like a giant nerd and I think

[00:33:56] that's why it worked for him but I think Hayden plays villains very well and I think the

[00:34:01] problem with his casting is that everyone always looks like oh he's really hot that's

[00:34:05] making him like rom-com the love interest I think every time he's a douchebag bad guy

[00:34:10] he plays it better like yeah like except for like maybe Christian Bale do I see and I guess

[00:34:16] Keith Ledger now because of Joker do I see a lot of villains in this list and I think Hayden

[00:34:22] does better as a villain or emo villain and that's why he plays Darth Vader well

[00:34:29] Meisha Collins was so unknown by that I honestly I don't think he would have done a bad job

[00:34:36] he was unknown but he was cute enough yeah Meisha Collins at that time was like not

[00:34:42] known at all I don't think I knew him at that time yeah no I definitely didn't but Jonathan

[00:34:47] Brandis that breaks my heart like doesn't even make sense because like what year did he pass

[00:34:53] yeah that's true this was this was very early this was for Attack of the Cones he died in

[00:35:00] November of 2003 oh okay but when did they shoot this because there's so much CGI they had to

[00:35:08] have shot it like two or three years prior to it coming out and it only came out two years

[00:35:15] after Phantom Menace so I think they probably shot them back to back and then George Lucas

[00:35:22] just sat and edited for quite a bit of time I don't I don't know but it took him a long

[00:35:29] time to write this film because Phantom Menace like I was saying was not received well

[00:35:34] it made him really slow to writing this he didn't finish the rough draft of the script

[00:35:40] three months before shooting began that is insane like and you know that they didn't get those

[00:35:46] scripts very easily but to wait that long before rehearsals and stuff that that's a lot

[00:35:53] and after doing a couple drafts he realized that he needed help so he brought in Jonathan

[00:35:58] Hales to help him with the third and final draft and it's you know obviously he got

[00:36:02] a credit for the screenplay on that it was unexpected because he hadn't had a screenplay

[00:36:09] credit since 1981 which was like on one of the Indian Jones movies so Carrie Fisher it does list

[00:36:15] Attack of the Clones as one of her ghost writing I then then the only thing I could say is

[00:36:21] god knows what Garbage Pilot was before she was able to make this part happen then because

[00:36:28] I just can't see it yeah because like they gave her enough like they gave like

[00:36:34] like the scene that gets me is the sand scene and I know like it just I know this is a good

[00:36:40] joke because like he's literally just talking about sand after she's like literally dressed

[00:36:44] in her best outfit ever backless like with gorgeous fit and she's just like she's just

[00:36:50] staring at him that's it she's just staring at him and I'm like Carrie could you have

[00:36:56] given her something like it's just because he's hot and he's a Jedi if they had a sex

[00:37:02] scene I think I would have believed all of this if he just swung the dick real quick one time

[00:37:11] I would have said she was hypnotized it's a kids movie Danielle all right maybe it's a kids movie

[00:37:16] the fact that Attack of the Clones is actually one of the most confusing movies because I

[00:37:19] don't forget that I don't understand what Obi-Wan is doing the whole time

[00:37:23] he just wandering around the galaxy looking for stuff

[00:37:29] like I okay the scene in which Obi-Wan goes and finds out that there's this planet and it's not

[00:37:37] in the Jedi archives he goes to the wise 20 minutes to talk about that by the way right

[00:37:46] yeah it goes to the wisest person the wisest person said you know what let these younglings

[00:37:53] tell you what to do so he says kids if there's a planet and it's not in the archive

[00:38:01] what that mean one of the younglings says well that means somebody took it out of the

[00:38:07] archives hello why you needed to come and make a fool of yourself with that shit I was like

[00:38:14] you wasted your time from younglings time Yoda's time and my fucking time with this bullshit

[00:38:21] it's a testimony to the fact that this movie is made for kids yes like that's what I knew

[00:38:25] like this is from movie frigates like the fact that the kids are answering the question

[00:38:31] like it felt like blues clues adora like where should we look for the planet

[00:38:40] it was removed from the archives

[00:38:48] I think like I love that you can make McGregor is like such a good sport by these movies but

[00:38:53] low-key probably just like I hate my life he's also a cheater maybe that's the name of the

[00:39:00] movie so I knew Keira Knightley played one of the doppelgangers for Padme in this movie

[00:39:07] in the first movie yeah but when I was watching I said hey it's Rose Byrne and my sister

[00:39:17] my sister was like who what are you talking about I got so excited I have like six pictures

[00:39:24] in my phone right now of me watching the movie and just take try to fight and get her like

[00:39:30] you're doing great sweetie I was so excited for her she has one line just like are you okay

[00:39:37] senator and you're like go you go girl I love this for you you're so blank cocoa

[00:39:45] I literally was like is that is that Rose Byrne and then I immediately IMDB

[00:39:52] she literally just stands there and just does nothing

[00:39:56] and I'm like I love this for you like go off do nothing just be pretty good for you

[00:40:03] I had no idea that was like one of her first films that she was in that it was like well

[00:40:07] it's not one of her first because I think she did something some other things before but

[00:40:12] she was like bigger yeah Rose Byrne is one of the most underrated actresses and the woman can

[00:40:20] do everything she should comedian she's a comedian like she should be in so like she

[00:40:27] should be winning oscars because she can do drama she can do comedy she can do tv she

[00:40:33] could do movie like literally a chameleon she's such a great actress so underrated

[00:40:39] I bet she knows the tea about Hayden and Natalie dating on this movie oh they definitely

[00:40:45] kidding me are you kidding me they had so much chemistry they definitely did

[00:40:51] he always like smiles so sweetly whenever he talks about Natalie too just saying well I think

[00:40:57] it's crazy I had no idea that it under hush hush that members of NSYNC had been giving a

[00:41:05] cameo appearance because of George Lucas's daughter and they shot the cameo but he then

[00:41:12] decided to cut them out of the movie they could be seen briefly in a crowd shot I actually think

[00:41:18] that's better like one of the things about Star Wars is that you're very much in the world no

[00:41:24] matter how big the celebrity like you have celebrities in it but it's never one of those

[00:41:28] like you know it would have taken us out of the movie tiny head from a kid in King Arthur's

[00:41:36] Daniel Craig yeah played a stormtrooper in one of the newer ones oh I didn't realize yeah he plays

[00:41:43] one of the stormtroopers that brings or no uh the one that uh Ray does the Jedi mind trick

[00:41:51] on to get out of her restraints that's Daniel Craig as a stormtrooper didn't know that

[00:41:57] it just reminds me of like Ed Sheeran being in the last season of Game of Thrones

[00:42:01] I think you like why okay and he's saying and it's like that's a sure it

[00:42:10] it just takes you out like I just don't think you should do it unless it's one of like a

[00:42:16] Spice World situation where you're just gonna have cameos on top of cameos but not in one

[00:42:20] of these fantasy movies where it will take you out of it so and like you said Maria this is

[00:42:27] the first star wars film in which Yoda is actually entirely computer generated and we get

[00:42:35] that fight sequence because in the previous movies with the puppets they weren't able to

[00:42:40] get the Yoda puppet to hold on to a lightsaber that's why we never saw a lightsaber fight

[00:42:45] with him previously which is which makes but I also really do love the even McGregor well

[00:42:51] Obi-Wan Kenobi fight sequence at that time because it's so ironic I will say a little

[00:42:56] of the prequels the fight sequences are great that's what I'm telling you they should have

[00:43:00] stayed in their bag that's what they're good at that's what they know how to do

[00:43:04] it's beautiful sequences great action fights and not dialogue right the dialogue we don't

[00:43:11] need it I'm not asking for that we don't need it like we're we never asked for it like

[00:43:16] even with Hayden and like I think with you and too like they really committed to the fight

[00:43:21] sequences and I think that's where they shined at and like we see that with you in a lot

[00:43:26] like he does fight sequences great and then like as Hayden grows up he does fight sequences

[00:43:31] great even Natalie whenever she was in her action bag she did great like they should

[00:43:36] just like leaned into it more I know that they had to kind of set up a love sequence but

[00:43:40] like the whole like you like Obi-Wan's like side quest with like the younglings and like

[00:43:47] the most confusing clone war droid plotline ever like we didn't need it he could have just

[00:43:54] fought people we would have been happy like he didn't see like he did their movie they could

[00:43:59] have just mentioned that Obi-Wan went to this planet and figured out they were clone in both

[00:44:05] Django Fett like that's all we needed yeah yeah I was trying to explain Boba Fett to my sister

[00:44:13] and I said you know what don't worry about it he's a little boy in this movie don't worry

[00:44:17] about it just like it doesn't even come up again unfortunately like fully you know properly

[00:44:23] until his like show does you know yeah well I asked Ken about because I'm like okay so we see

[00:44:31] the little matrix baby clones but Boba Fett is already like a child and like so is he like

[00:44:41] first gen clone like what's going on with the Boba Fett situation he and Ken was like no

[00:44:47] Django Fett said in payment for him them using his DNA for all the clones

[00:44:52] he wanted a son which was a true clone no sped up growth process or anything and so that

[00:44:59] is Boba Fett yeah and also they with the clones they were kind of dampering any kind of aggression

[00:45:08] or anything like that so with this clone full aggression went while we get Boba Fett

[00:45:15] in his true glory in the movies what do you think people's obsession with the character

[00:45:20] of Boba Fett is like he I mean obviously he has a presence in the the first in the first movie

[00:45:29] first three movies but like people really loved that character so much that I think it's robot

[00:45:36] chicken like I think it's just the like spooks of him yeah I think it's the jet pack who

[00:45:48] doesn't want a jet pack yeah very valid I think is just you know what it is I think the OG trilogy

[00:45:55] set it up that you could be anyone and like everyone just ran with it and like

[00:46:00] that's why they ran with Boba Fett and the jet pack it was so funny because what I thought

[00:46:07] about when I saw this next fun fact was can hardly wait and hardly wait so Christopher

[00:46:15] had originally been offered the role of grandma Tarkin in Star Wars but he turned it down his

[00:46:21] friend Peter Cushing got the role but Lee came to regret this decision and he did not let up the

[00:46:27] opportunity passing by when he got his second chance and so he agreed to play Count Dooku

[00:46:34] and I was like oh okay that's cool but grandma Tarkin the size of Star Wars film why is that

[00:46:43] why is that it both kiss and it was because of the scene at care Harley was

[00:46:52] oh love that movie okay so the movie starts with an assassination attempt on senator Padme

[00:46:59] those wormy things I was like are they going in her ears because I am not down with them

[00:47:05] they're huge they were huge and they knew things like they knew that R2 was looking around

[00:47:13] that like they hid like they were very smart wormy things and I was not about it

[00:47:20] wait before we even were thinking about how awkward Obi-Wan felt whenever hated was

[00:47:25] just like you've grown up beautiful I know we won't just stand and go like pulling his thumb

[00:47:29] like I know bad for Obi-Wan in this movie so much I think I made a subplot in my head

[00:47:36] about this movie and then whenever you watch it I was like well where are these parts

[00:47:41] in my subplot I thought this was a love triangle thank you well probably

[00:47:50] I hear this all the time yeah there probably because of the Luke Leia Han

[00:47:55] from the first movie so I think your brain subconsciously I think it's a third movie

[00:48:02] yeah I think it's when he starts losing his shit and he's like you guys are plotting against

[00:48:07] me you want to be with each other like he started I feel like he starts projecting

[00:48:12] shit I don't know at the end whenever Obi-Wan says like I care about her too I can't actually

[00:48:17] remember the words but he said something where he like gets where Anakin's coming from I think

[00:48:22] it's just because Ewan McGregor like it's just because he's like standing there he's Ewan McGregor

[00:48:26] and it's very clear that like the thing I get like it Hayden's a very much a teenager in this

[00:48:31] so it's very hard to see him as a lot of interest but like because Ewan McGregor is right

[00:48:34] there yeah it's very fair for everyone to be like why would Padme go for him when Ewan

[00:48:38] McGregor is right there but Ewan McGregor was like well Obi-Wan wasn't paying any

[00:48:44] attention to her in that way whatsoever but I think the storyline would have been more

[00:48:49] interesting had they made it some sort of love triangle like forbidden love situation especially

[00:48:57] after she gets pregnant and he is like going ape shit this is where the women's touch needed

[00:49:02] they need to touch in this moment for sure 100% and the amount of times Anakin yells

[00:49:09] he's like a father to me and like we get it Anakin 100% we get it you have daddy issues

[00:49:18] so he has such a daddy issue I cannot I cannot I cannot defend him in this movie it's so hard to

[00:49:27] so yeah the wormy thing but then because Ewan Obi-Wan and Anakin are protecting her they like

[00:49:36] see that there is an assassination attempt so Anakin balls out immediately jumps finds a

[00:49:45] speeder is just jumping out of windows chasing people we get to see a little of his speeder

[00:49:53] skills from the first movie and Obi-Wan's just like please don't kill me

[00:50:01] I thought like one of the things my sister said is when they ran into when they ran into

[00:50:07] the room Anakin jumps on her bed right yeah that bitch don't move she does not get up until

[00:50:17] something else happened I think they like killed the worm or what or something

[00:50:21] he like savers the word right and that's when she's like hello what's going on

[00:50:29] you didn't feel that man jump on your bed what kind of mattress is this

[00:50:33] no I think they're talking so loudly outside of her bed

[00:50:39] hear it they're literally outside your room yelling you know she had that she had that

[00:50:44] blue milk before bed and she just passed out no she she's gonna sleep through everything I

[00:50:50] wouldn't I'd be listening in I've been listening the whole time hearing Anakin's dreams about

[00:50:55] his mom like I don't know you could even wait your mother tell me more right she could

[00:51:01] hear when he's having a nightmare but didn't hear all that loud talking she must have just

[00:51:06] had a bad day I don't know and when they get into the speedsters then they start whatever

[00:51:12] I was confused I was like what's happening I thought it was a worm

[00:51:18] they were chasing after the person that put the worm in the room or sent the droid that

[00:51:25] put the worm in the room because I was so confused because like Anakin like took it upon himself

[00:51:32] to like find the guy that was like kind of assassinating when they weren't even supposed

[00:51:36] to do it so like that was excessive that was like too much for sure like yeah my thing is

[00:51:41] like Obi-Wan really jumps out the window and just like he's like all this droid

[00:51:46] it was

[00:51:54] remind me of the fifth element this yes yes yes and then they they finally catch up with the

[00:52:04] I don't even remember what they call her um yes she was a changeling but she was also hired

[00:52:13] by a bounty hunter they find out yes because she tries to shoot Obi-Wan but he knows he

[00:52:19] knows she's coming and so he he shoots first and as she lays dying they're trying to get

[00:52:26] information from her and as she's about to like reveal all the information she's shot with a

[00:52:31] dart and they vaguely see a Mandalorian like run out of the room and Obi-Wan takes the dart

[00:52:41] and goes to his friend's diner for him to identify because none of the archives

[00:52:47] can identify what this dart is that's just so random thing for him to do his diner

[00:52:53] yeah like yeah you know he got friends in low places Obi-Wan

[00:53:01] then he goes to the younglings and stuff like you know right first of all I need

[00:53:06] I need alerts I need a virus protector for these Jedi archives because there's a lot

[00:53:13] gone missing what is it McAvee y'all need McAvee like where's the cookies here like he has

[00:53:21] what do you mean you deleted it so like right but only a Jedi can delete it

[00:53:28] don't it's so 2000 like this is literally 2000s technology you're trying to be like

[00:53:34] advanced space now but I love that he's just like but my friend told me that there's a planet

[00:53:43] and and Yoda's like bitch if you don't go fly there and see if you see the planet and get

[00:53:49] the fuck out of my face like I'm teaching you right you see the gravity is pulling

[00:53:55] that you are telling me all the goddamn context clues it's like where in the world is Carmen

[00:54:00] San Diego okay she has the Parthenon where does it live he like a like he interrupted their lesson

[00:54:13] as like a young child's lessons to talk to him about it's like every rom-com ever where

[00:54:22] the like boyfriend runs into the teacher's room and has like a 15 minute conversation with her

[00:54:29] and the children have to explain to him like oh no when you love someone you just like go

[00:54:33] to the airport and fight for that when you love a planet when you need to find a planet

[00:54:38] you just go to the coordinates and then you look for it I just feel like we didn't need

[00:54:44] that I don't know much about space we know nothing we could have found this planet though

[00:54:55] but I know if there are things orbiting something there has to be some sort of

[00:55:00] gravitational force in the middle even if it isn't showing up in the archives like

[00:55:06] that much I know that's like that's fourth grade you know physics right there I've been to the

[00:55:14] planetarium they told me that yeah we all we know that I don't know I'm terrible at physics

[00:55:22] but I at least know that there's a gravitational pull yes and that means that something is there

[00:55:27] exactly like I don't need to be a space wizard

[00:55:34] after they find out the the the stitch at the diner they go to the club I mean the bar

[00:55:41] I believe the okay I understand what the point of the whole club scene is because it's

[00:55:46] supposed to be like it's very much to like the OG told you whatever they had the club

[00:55:51] but that that club scene is ridiculous it's the most embarrassing club scene I've ever seen

[00:55:58] in a star wars movie was it death sticks well cigarettes yeah which is so funny because

[00:56:05] Hayden is like a big fan of cigarettes to hide his holotosis it's probably contributing

[00:56:11] to the how you know what let me apologize I'm sorry because holotosis is a real thing you

[00:56:17] can't control it and I apologize for any of our listeners who are experiencing

[00:56:24] there you go sorry ex med student so I apologize I'm just not I should make fun of him sorry

[00:56:33] and I only bring it up because like every fandom person's like oh he smokes death sticks I'm

[00:56:37] like no he smokes cigarettes so it's not be that late like

[00:56:43] so Obi-Wan goes off on his journey journey to find Kamino and finds out that there's a

[00:56:50] secret clone army commissioned by some guy Sifo Dias who got killed in the first movie this was

[00:57:04] complicated way to explain this yes yeah I was lost Obi-Wan just kind of wander around with the

[00:57:12] tall skinny people from Lilo & Stitch

[00:57:14] it is they are from Lilo & Stitch

[00:57:25] Grand Council Woman is apparently from Kamino

[00:57:30] no they got that from Lilo & Stitch

[00:57:35] oh man and so he's just wandering around and he's like oh that that bounty hunter looks

[00:57:43] suspicious and so there is much fighting with Jango Fett as Obi-Wan just wanders around this

[00:57:50] very rainy planet I like their fight scene it's it's you know very hand to hand kind of thing

[00:57:58] not just with the lightsabers it was a little rough and tough which is on par with a fit

[00:58:06] Obi-Wan fighting is great yeah like when they don't have Obi-Wan fight

[00:58:10] yeah I like I don't really understand this scene I'm gonna be honest with you I don't get it

[00:58:17] I don't understand what the Lilo & Stitch lady is there for I don't really understand the purpose

[00:58:21] but I like the fight scene yeah that's literally it yeah and then meanwhile on Naboo

[00:58:29] Obi-Wan has told Anakin you need to watch Padme she needs to leave the Senate for now

[00:58:36] and so this was another part that had to be explained to me I'm like okay so she just

[00:58:41] put Jar Jar in charge like why is Jar Jar there and Ken's like well each planet has like their

[00:58:49] little council and there's a spokesperson so Padme was the spokesperson as the senator

[00:58:56] but when she left Jar Jar was also in that council and so he became the representative

[00:59:02] and the way he got played yeah easily the that rolls into the other fan theory that Jar Jar is

[00:59:12] the Sith and was in on it the whole time and then there's also this idea that like

[00:59:19] Palpatine always wanted Anakin to be the bodyguard of like Padme so that they would

[00:59:25] have that relationship so like I feel like everything in Attack of Clones there's just

[00:59:29] much lore in fan theory that makes the movie make more sense than the actual events make sense

[00:59:36] yes and I do I do feel like that fan theory is more less convoluted than all the other ones

[00:59:43] where yeah because he doesn't you already see in the movie that he sets it up because

[00:59:49] Anakin has not had his own assignment yet and I think that has a lot to do with

[00:59:55] with Obi-Wan still thinking he needed more time but also I think in the back of his head hearing

[01:00:01] what his mentor was saying that there is confusion about whether Anakin is going to be

[01:00:12] the chosen one yeah deliverer of good or evil or like you know they're still

[01:00:18] you can't put your finger on it even for Yoda I want to point out that Padme called

[01:00:24] it in the beginning like in the first five minutes of this movie Padme is like town duco

[01:00:30] why are we checking up on him yeah let's listen to you they're like let's ignore you I find

[01:00:36] like you know Anakin Skywalker who's been obsessed with you for 10 years and make him

[01:00:39] your like you know bodyguard and like you know make the Beyonce soundtrack very relevant right

[01:00:44] now but just say like literally Padme calls it like I just feel like it's so there

[01:00:50] but everyone just ignores like the obvious signs of like but I think it's a good analogy to

[01:00:57] what happened like the jedis became I don't want to say complacent but they

[01:01:05] they had a lot of blind spots yeah I thought they had it unlocked right and

[01:01:11] and this is why I'm not a fan of jedis because I feel like the jedis got too political

[01:01:16] and that became made them complacent because of like oh we're going to be like even with Anakin

[01:01:20] being like we should find the people who are threatening Padme versus like everyone being like

[01:01:25] no we're just supposed to protect her like he's like but we're aren't we supposed to be the

[01:01:29] ones that's supposed to stop throughout from happening like I think the Jedi lost their way too

[01:01:34] and that this is getting into like the whole Star Wars theory of like I think actually Anakin

[01:01:38] does bring balance because he goes back to the original ideas of what the Jedi and the

[01:01:42] that they're supposed to be but it's kind of similar to the Avatar how involved does the

[01:01:49] Avatar get in these situations what is the role of the Avatar and can the role of the Avatar

[01:01:56] evolve over time because things change the way that the old they were so set in the old ways

[01:02:03] and and it's funny because as wise as Yoda is I think it's almost like for me Yoda looks like

[01:02:11] he sees all this shit like he knows everything that's going to happen but he knows it has to

[01:02:17] happen for that balance to happen so it's like because you look at Yoda you're like he's too

[01:02:23] damn smart to not see all this shit happening like why is he kind of letting it happen

[01:02:29] do you think he knew what was going to happen I think he could infer like I think he's been

[01:02:36] around enough I think he started to see some of the signs and I think he could infer that

[01:02:41] yeah this is probably what's going to happen but you know what I don't think my role

[01:02:47] is to do anything which is which is truly the Jedi way when you think about it so it makes

[01:02:51] sense and like I actually like when I was doing this rewatch I saw that too I'm like

[01:02:55] I think Yoda does know that this is inevitable because he is the one that was just like

[01:02:59] well your your padawan should watch Padme and Obi-Wan you should stop

[01:03:03] and like they never separate padawan and master they did in the scene so like I started to see

[01:03:08] that with Obi-Wan and Yoda as well sure yeah I think they all had a part to play in this

[01:03:14] because also then the fact that Yoda even gets the clones in the first place later down

[01:03:20] the line I always found that to be real suspicious and that's what he gets the

[01:03:26] he gets the he's on the storm troopers on the yeah but there's no

[01:03:33] well no Tinkley at this time they are are they yeah Tinkley at this time they are the same thing

[01:03:40] okay that's why it's confusing because why are they babies in the other place they're babies

[01:03:46] there's children and then they were full adults in that place they're like accelerated clones at

[01:03:52] that moment so like this is why this is why this movie is so confusing because you're like

[01:03:56] those are stormtroopers but they call them clones and they're not the bad guys the

[01:04:01] droids are at the time so back to Anakin and Padme at Naboo so I like how like

[01:04:09] the Jedi aren't supposed to have relationships they're not supposed to fall in love and

[01:04:13] get married and Anakin's like no I think like I can't even remember what word he is

[01:04:19] attachments it's very avatar which is it's very avatar yes but he was like arguing that

[01:04:26] the passion and the commitment are actually like in line with the Jedi teachings

[01:04:34] and that's what true love is I understand why they kind of would want because like

[01:04:40] the thing is it's almost like you have to dedicate yourself and the force and being a

[01:04:46] Jedi is the number one thing when you have family you're like nah I gotta go deal with my

[01:04:53] family just like where he has that moment where Padme falls off of the ship into the sand and

[01:04:58] he's like fuck my mission I'm gonna go my lady just fell so I could see it trying them

[01:05:05] trying to avoid being torn but it's also just unrealistic and I think we almost so like so

[01:05:15] this Jedi decree is very close to like Sikhism as a religion which they also believe in not having

[01:05:20] attachments even Islam doesn't talk about like having attachments like you have your family but

[01:05:25] you have to accept the fact that when you go to the afterlife like you will not have these

[01:05:28] attachments which I feel like all like major religions can like relate to that like

[01:05:32] whenever you die alone you're you're born alone you die alone mentality and like that's where

[01:05:37] the Jedi mentality comes from and that's why we see these themes overlap with things like

[01:05:41] the avatar as well and like you know being able to channel that but like I think they

[01:05:46] misunderstand like it's kind of like Anakin saying that like no like me feeling that love is why

[01:05:52] I should tell people I think it's just I think it's a selfish need and I think we see this more

[01:05:57] in like book three with like reg of the Sith where like he is ready to like essentially we see

[01:06:03] this in him with his mother and how he like commits revenge with like the sand people

[01:06:08] with you know we should question Padme just be like okay you killed a bunch of people

[01:06:15] really people it's fine yeah but like this is where it gets like kind of questionable

[01:06:21] like oh you can you should you can form attachments in the sense of love and not

[01:06:25] revenge essentially so like I think that's what they're trying to say like I do understand

[01:06:30] what the Jedi are coming from but at the same time it's just like I think they're trying

[01:06:32] to show that like Anakin does not have healthy attachments unfortunately because he doesn't know

[01:06:37] how to have healthy relationships now while Anakin and Padme are are thirsting on each other

[01:06:46] Obi-Wan then has to go to Genesis and he's investigating the Separatist plot and is captured

[01:06:54] by the insectoid Genosians those are the wing guys and that's when we find out they're

[01:07:00] making the droid army right and how great this and Joku we do this is what we need

[01:07:08] Kanjoku right yeah Doku Doku we hear him plotting that he's been the one behind trying to

[01:07:16] hurt Padme or kill her learn that he's doing it for someone else like some deal yes and so

[01:07:24] Obi-Wan sends out a distress signal yeah on the rain yeah and Anakin and Padme follow his trail to

[01:07:34] genosis genesis I don't know right because the Jedi can't counsel tell them

[01:07:41] do not go didn't they tell him tell them not to go help Obi-Wan and this is also what

[01:07:49] Anakin goes back to his Tatooine right like yeah this is like solo mission in between all this

[01:07:55] it's like Obi-Wan's like wait why aren't they in the boo and they're like surprise we're

[01:07:59] Tatooine looking for Anakin's mom and Anakin meets his stepbrother and we see Joel what's

[01:08:06] his name Uncle Owen yeah we see yeah we see we see Joel Edgar Edgerton like young Joel

[01:08:11] Edgerton who comes back and like Obi-Wan in you know kind of like reoccurring world in

[01:08:16] star wars so hello in an amperu and then we meet his stepdad who's like the Tusken Raiders took

[01:08:25] Shmi right she's been gone for a month and so Anakin goes to look for her finds her

[01:08:32] and then she's just like Anakin hi and then dies the way like for this being a kid's movie

[01:08:41] the way in which he found her like she's like tied up almost like a cross situation

[01:08:46] and you could tell like her back is all fucked up like they've been slashing her yeah it's just

[01:08:52] very unsettling yeah and then he she she tries to say I love you and she dies and then

[01:09:01] he goes ape shit and he murders everybody and when he comes back and like we said he

[01:09:08] tells Padme she's like I rolled up into that bitch real quick I saw my mama dead and I

[01:09:13] shot up the bitch and I killed children and mothers and she was like word I'm gonna stand

[01:09:22] beside if that's my family treated them like the animals they were yeah my sister said

[01:09:30] wait a minute she has babies with this man I said yes she does my thing is like up until

[01:09:36] now like he is trying to be kissed he like professes his love like I am haunted by the

[01:09:41] kiss that you gave me she's like we can't do this and then she hears him talk about

[01:09:46] he killed my people and she's like I'm gonna stand beside him I'm like standing beside him

[01:09:50] 10 minutes ago what do you mean now like yes you should be calling for his arrest

[01:09:57] you even have to follow him here she chose to be there with him right he said he was he

[01:10:03] was actually Padme is a part of his destruction because she likes him I see she likes the messy

[01:10:09] I'm telling you she's bored she's bored when they're said in her life she the curly haired guy

[01:10:15] that like he was too safe she wants Anakin yeah I get it girl did you get it so don't blame her

[01:10:22] uh and this is when Anakin also starts to unravel he's like

[01:10:26] like

[01:10:28] manifested this grudge in his head against Obi-Wan and thinks Obi-Wan's holding him back

[01:10:36] yeah and like he just starts to get real in his head about things

[01:10:40] real quick and then at the same time back at the senate they're staging this coup where they

[01:10:47] want to nominate a chancellor aka dictator right in the senate and they're like yeah and

[01:10:54] they're like who who should we we need a senator to nominate us oh Jar Jar come here real quick

[01:11:01] we got a job for you well the thing that they do is they're like oh man I wish a senator

[01:11:08] Adala was here because she's the only one who would be who would be strong enough to to

[01:11:15] nominate such a radical idea man if only Padme was here yeah like I think that I shall do it

[01:11:25] you know like the fan theory holds up like it really does make sense it really does

[01:11:33] he's like oh I got you yeah so now Palpatine is the chancellor and is in charge of all of the

[01:11:41] decisions the chancellor thing which I thought was really interesting was that when the senate

[01:11:47] votes to give supreme chancellor sweeping emergency powers to go to war against the

[01:11:51] separatist force this is the same ploy that's gonna say Adam the ploy that Hitler used to

[01:11:57] gain the same dictate or similar dictator dictatorship power in the mid 1930s Germany

[01:12:05] I didn't know that actually so I the reason I find that interesting is the fact is

[01:12:10] interesting itself but it's because all the fanboys always talk about how woke the newer

[01:12:16] star wars movies are and I'm like star wars has always been woke there's always been politics

[01:12:21] this is a political drama for god's sake that it's always been this way like it's always been

[01:12:26] about fascism space what like yeah so now we get this weird arena battle they Obi-Wan

[01:12:34] has to narvel the Garthok and then there's this weird praying mantis thing that also is

[01:12:39] attacking them and oh Amidala just randomly has a key because I didn't see where she got the key

[01:12:45] from it was just like it's like a pan or something yeah like she just like climbs the

[01:12:51] pole like an effortless lift but in fact Anakin sorry Anakin has a connection to animals

[01:12:57] they don't talk about this in the movie but like he can talk to animals and that's why he's

[01:13:01] able to control that rhino thingy that he ends up controlling I just thought he's the force

[01:13:06] yeah yeah he's so special power has special training like special skills that's why he is

[01:13:12] Anakin Skywalker and one of them is that he has a connection to animals that's why they kind of

[01:13:16] they kind of show it in the movie but not really because like more than one metal parcel

[01:13:21] tongue that was just good yeah no he's basically parcel yeah but like parcels hung

[01:13:27] where the animals are your more than snakes but like that's what that picnic scene happened

[01:13:31] where like he was like playing with that other armadillo thing yeah yeah how'd you feel about

[01:13:38] that danielle he didn't roll up and look all yeah like scaly looking so I was fine with it

[01:13:47] and we get the i've got a bad feeling about this line said by Anakin as they're like

[01:13:53] chained to the post to be sacrificed to these giant animals but then not sure the fact that

[01:14:01] like padme's was like oh I love you for this by the way so random and then all the Jedi show up

[01:14:13] and Yoda has the storm troopers and then they have the robots and then it's confusing for a

[01:14:22] moment like you know you're on the side of the people with the glowing light sticks like

[01:14:27] that's all you know in this scene yeah and then it's like then dooku turns

[01:14:35] on the the jedis and then you're like oh he was behind it the whole time yeah in this scene

[01:14:44] it's revealed that samuel a jackson's character has that purple lightsaber uh-huh and I find it

[01:14:50] very interesting that the way he he was like I want to identify myself in this scene because

[01:14:56] there's so much going on so he says to george lucas hey can I get a pipe a purple lightsaber

[01:15:03] and george lucas is like well nah it's blue or green my bro and he was like yeah but I want

[01:15:10] a purple one I always wondered how he got purple so like he just asked for it yeah

[01:15:17] he just asked for it because no one else has it it's literally like a mace would do thing

[01:15:22] which is so cool and george lucas is like I'll think about it and so samuel jackson didn't know

[01:15:29] if it was gonna happen or not until he saw the movie so I thought that was really cool got it

[01:15:37] it's really cool actually so ken also said that george lucas finally like gave in because

[01:15:45] he was afraid to tell samuel jackson as he should as he should like how do you get samuel

[01:15:52] jackson for your movies and not let him have a purple lightsaber right you just let him do

[01:15:56] what he can do let him be and a lightsaber that's engraved with bad mother fucker

[01:16:03] yeah like come on that's what dreams are made out of really truly so this is the first battle

[01:16:12] of the clone wars everyone is taken aside then there's the newly revealed clone army

[01:16:18] to fight against the separatist forces and then that kind of becomes the galaxy wide conflict

[01:16:26] actually the separatists become the rebels and then the republic becomes the empire

[01:16:33] and we get a epic fight scene with yoda and I just want to call him dookie but that's not

[01:16:41] his name how do you go yes it's so close it's so close it is I'm gonna say like Anakin loses

[01:16:49] his hand which is really cute too like how Luke loses his hand yeah yes my sister really was

[01:16:55] panicking when he got his hand arm stuck in that machine with the droids she got because

[01:17:02] that was foreshadowing that his arm was gonna get cut off I was like not yet but the way

[01:17:08] that he got knocked the fuck out and his arm was gone yeah you know what else they

[01:17:13] put a shadow a lot him losing a lightsaber they did that a lot in this movie and I just like

[01:17:19] I get that like he's supposed to lose the lightsaber as when he comes like you know

[01:17:22] Darth Vader but like I don't know they did there's some weird foreshadowing in this movie

[01:17:27] it is a little too on the nose about it but the funny thing is originally in this fight

[01:17:33] sequence with Yoda and Count Dookie they were I had to like now it's stuck in my head yoda was

[01:17:42] actually supposed to come in and immediately have the fight with him but the creative team

[01:17:49] felt that was going to be too quick of a transition for Yoda so and the audience felt

[01:17:54] like they needed to feel the power of good and evil going against each other so George

[01:17:59] Lucas added in the preamble to the fight which is like them throwing the blue lightning and the

[01:18:05] rocks falling and all that other stuff and it's also really hilarious because Christopher Lee

[01:18:13] when he was shooting this scene because this is green screen and there you know there's not

[01:18:17] the Yoda puppet they actually made like this fake puppet or this fake Yoda with Fang as kind

[01:18:26] of like what we can assume is a joke because of one of his first earlier roles.

[01:18:32] Count Dracula the horror of Dracula from 1928?

[01:18:35] Yes which I really wish I could find a picture of that because that seems like it would be

[01:18:41] hilarious. Yeah so and like that's like something with Hayden too that he like loved

[01:18:46] shooting it but he just didn't like the green screen thing which like if you I will say

[01:18:49] that with the sequels is that everything or like at least like the newest shows with Disney

[01:18:54] and stuff that everything is special effects or like they have basically built a Star Wars world

[01:18:59] in the studios so like even you and McGregor and Obi-like and Hayden when they came back they're

[01:19:04] like it's so cool that we're like literally in Star Wars now whenever we were doing it with

[01:19:09] the people with everything was green screen so like they hated it then but they made it work

[01:19:13] for like as adults like ever you know 20 years later doing it now they're like wow this is

[01:19:19] so different and honestly I couldn't imagine like can I like imagine trying to act and everything

[01:19:25] was green screen in these movies don't wonder they had such a hard time. Yeah I think that's

[01:19:30] one of the complaints a lot of the Marvel cast has about some of those movies and speaking of

[01:19:36] Hayden that's why he really liked when they filmed that set at the bar or the club as I

[01:19:41] called it because it was an actual set instead of it just being the green screen. Yeah we

[01:19:48] also get Mace Windu decapitates Jango Fett which Boba Fett witnesses. Oh and Boba Fett watches yeah

[01:19:56] and that's what leads to everything yep yeah. And then Yoda proclaims the shroud of the dark

[01:20:02] side has fallen and begun the clone warhead. Like so did you know you were just waiting?

[01:20:09] That's what I'm telling you. Yeah it yeah I think he knew the whole time it just feels like

[01:20:15] it this whole time yeah. He knew what was gonna happen or something and then the last scene of

[01:20:21] the movie is oh by the way Anakin and Padme get married. Yeah it's just like it makes no sense

[01:20:32] that that's why I said a sex scene had to be in should have been in this movie

[01:20:36] because it would explain why she's obsessed if she had sex right before he went and killed all

[01:20:42] the sand people she still she would have been dignitized and then she finds out she's pregnant

[01:20:47] and so they have to get married. That is the only thing that would have made sense for me

[01:20:52] at this point. Dignitized yeah it's a children's movie but they couldn't do it but I want to

[01:20:57] assume I'm assuming I think I'm assuming stuff went down there's no way she's wearing a

[01:21:03] backless dress and nothing went down just saying right her outfit it's like let's

[01:21:08] okay okay she eats in her office in this movie maybe he eats as well and that's why

[01:21:15] she loved him it's the only thing there's no way nothing happened they're like on this little

[01:21:21] cute vacation together she wore dressing to the nines okay here's my synopsis of this movie

[01:21:29] fellas obi-wan gets sent on a rogue job from hell while

[01:21:40] Anakin and Padme go on vacation they go from seaside to sand dune in a matter of 24 hours

[01:21:50] and then it's marriage all the way baby in between fights and people die switching sides

[01:22:01] bugs coliseum riding bugs killing bugs flying bugs and did I mention vacation turns to marriage

[01:22:12] yeah that's no there's a reason why disney sells it as like how am i getting a full love

[01:22:18] because that's literally what was only happening that was it

[01:22:22] the only thing that made sense about this movie was the fact that they have terrible

[01:22:25] dialogue and they somehow still fell in love well that is attack of the clones

[01:22:35] apologies ken if you made it this far we we did as best as we could this

[01:22:42] oh I I very much was like this episode is going to be rough because I don't understand

[01:22:50] anything that's going on and I I feel like like we discussed in in our last star wars episode I

[01:22:58] have like a master's in star wars it's not like i'm uneducated about star this one just

[01:23:04] makes no sense no it truly doesn't yeah yeah Phantom Menace like it was a mess but it made

[01:23:11] sense like this one I'm I'm glad I I followed my intuition and did not go to see this movie

[01:23:23] when I came out look nobody has any expectations of me at all so

[01:23:29] I like the first three I love Han Solo I do like star wars I'm not remembering any names

[01:23:36] of planets people or places whatsoever but I couldn't even I couldn't even get on board

[01:23:44] with this shit like it's a ship that I'm not shipping the villain hasn't fully blossomed yet

[01:23:50] so that I can't excuse his behavior and there wasn't enough hot dudes in it for me

[01:23:57] yeah that's fair and I feel like after I watched this movie I had to move my underwear

[01:24:03] to the side because there was sand coming out that's how much fucking sand is in this movie

[01:24:10] this movie it's like truly one of those things where I'm just like why am I still

[01:24:13] watching star wars like it just it makes you question like why you do this I was wrong about

[01:24:21] the cameo Kaminoans being the Grand Councilwoman from Lilo and Stitch George Lucas actually said

[01:24:30] that this is an homage to his friend Steven Spielberg and his work on close encounters

[01:24:36] of the third kind no it's Lilo and Stitch so Boba Fett is 10 years old in this film

[01:24:43] so it implies that his time of birth or creation was during the events of star wars

[01:24:48] episode one due to the animosity aimed towards Jar Jar Binks in the Phantom Menace the working

[01:24:56] title of this movie was called Jar Jar's Big Adventure it was a big adventure

[01:25:05] he was going to be council meeting and everything apparently George Lucas's original idea for the

[01:25:11] Clone Wars was for everyone in the galaxy to be fighting their own clones George I need you

[01:25:18] take a nap I think I think it's time to wrap it up all right Maria why don't you tell everybody

[01:25:26] where to find you on social so that they can check out your videos follow along get to know

[01:25:31] you more yes so you can find me as maria watches everything on tiktok and instagram

[01:25:36] I did a whole like playlist about star wars I definitely talked about the tag of the clones

[01:25:40] when I first watched and how confused I was so if you wanted to see that old playlist but

[01:25:47] and then like me rewatching all like old watching the new star wars and getting you now

[01:25:51] please follow me on tiktok and my new content but avatar last airbender and

[01:25:56] compares to the jedi as well so yeah and check us out at no more late fees on instagram

[01:26:03] facebook tiktok twitter youtube and threads and let's get into our present day ratings

[01:26:09] for this sand dune all right maria we're gonna start with you same day

[01:26:19] eh so if I had to watch it for a reason like a podcast episode it'd be a same day rental

[01:26:25] and then I'd be like I'm done with that I'm showing a 2.5 like a 1.5 speed

[01:26:31] danielle how about you I'm gonna go with that I'm returning it the same day same day rental

[01:26:36] for me yeah thank you it took me three separate tries to get through this movie and

[01:26:43] I finished literally 15 minutes before the we started recording because I was just like

[01:26:49] I'm confused and I can't and I don't even want to take note like it was just not stellar but

[01:26:56] I do love star wars so there's that well if you have an opinion on attack of the clones

[01:27:02] hit us up at our quick drop 909 601 6653 twitters have us at the threads

[01:27:11] and you can be featured on a future episode and I actually have a voice memo from my sister

[01:27:16] from the other day I went back and listened to a few no more late feed podcasts that I missed

[01:27:22] last summer as I was listening to the armageddon one and I was cracking up when they were asking

[01:27:27] talking to you about the end of the movie and how you reacted to it because I have such a

[01:27:32] vivid memory of all of us sitting in the living room watching the movie and the second it

[01:27:37] got emotional and intense you shot up in your seat and walked out the room like no words

[01:27:43] exchanged nothing you were just like I'm not here for this I'm out it was so good thank you

[01:27:51] thanks for listening with us

[01:27:55] I was very like I didn't like movies that made me sad or made me cry so when I saw

[01:28:01] the direction armageddon was going I was like and I'm out it's gonna end here for me

[01:28:07] thanks goodbye this is for your mental health this is what you call

[01:28:12] and mom's the word next week are highly anticipated the first wise club episode with our

[01:28:18] moms is coming at you we don't know what's gonna happen lots of technical difficulties

[01:28:26] lots of tangents lots of opinions I think lots of like this

[01:28:38] just half a face in the camera

[01:28:45] it's gonna be interesting oh my gosh it's gonna be funny you should just like report that for

[01:28:50] an hour we're getting in early we're hitting record immediately we're just gonna have

[01:29:00] a ton of patreon content that's just our parents working technology yeah that that's episode right

[01:29:07] yeah well maria again thank you for joining us can't wait to have more fun with you the

[01:29:15] next time you're here and in our bonus episode just always the best to have on

[01:29:21] I have so much fun thank you guys I know this movie was terrible but if I have to talk about

[01:29:25] this movie I'm glad we talked together about this movie yes they can all be winners and

[01:29:32] sometimes it's just as much fun to talk about we had good we had a good run with the other

[01:29:37] we did it was time we had to talk about it

[01:29:43] and as always may the force be with you be kind and rewind

first wives club, movie review, millenials, girl talk, female empowerment, second chances, friendship, comedy, divorce, nostalgia, bette midler, goldie hawn diane keaton, maggie smith, dan hedaya, bronson pinchot, marcia gay harden, sarah jessica parker, stockard channing, no more late fees, movie podcast, scott rudin, victor garber,