Goldeneye

[00:00:00] Here's Brosnan dives into action for the first time as James Bond

[00:00:04] in the explosive 1995 film Goldeneye.

[00:00:07] Watch us struggle to differentiate between Bond, Austin Powers

[00:00:11] and every other spy movie that ever existed.

[00:00:14] Extra bonus, we'll be testing our guest Nick's patience

[00:00:18] with our shenanigans.

[00:00:20] So fasten your seatbelts because this episode is going to be shaken and stirred.

[00:00:26] Dear Colgate, I love that you love that I love being at home.

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[00:00:48] about getting up from my cloud couch.

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[00:01:01] because ever since meeting you, I've been living life to the brightest.

[00:01:05] Colgate Optic White, find it at all major retailers.

[00:01:08] To the No More Late Fees podcast, I'm Danielle.

[00:01:11] And I'm Jackie.

[00:01:12] And we're just two best friends and ex-Blockbuster employees

[00:01:15] rewatching some of the best and worst movies from the late 90s and early 2000s.

[00:01:20] This week, we are talking about the 1995 James Bond spy classic Goldeneye.

[00:01:27] But before we dive in, let's get into some

[00:01:30] Housekeeping!

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[00:02:16] And we're not alone.

[00:02:18] Joining us this week is returning guest and my childhood friend,

[00:02:23] as well as the most patient man in the world, Nick.

[00:02:27] Hello!

[00:02:29] Hello, hello. It's good to be back.

[00:02:32] We're so glad you're back.

[00:02:35] And that you do have so much patience.

[00:02:39] You just keep coming back for more, which I love.

[00:02:43] Just watching James Bond movies.

[00:02:45] It's like they are what they are and I love them and I just keep coming back.

[00:02:48] So it's kind of like, it's this.

[00:02:50] You are who you are and I love it and I'll just keep coming back.

[00:02:55] It's so good to be here and I'm so glad I'm your friend.

[00:02:59] Thank you for everything. This is so good.

[00:03:01] If you want to get to know Nick a little bit better,

[00:03:03] make sure you come back later this week as we rank our top movie spies on our bonus episode.

[00:03:09] Or you can also check out our other episodes with Nick, including Clerks and Monsters Inc.

[00:03:15] We'll link those episodes along with his other bonus episodes in our show notes.

[00:03:20] Jackie, let's get into GoldenEye.

[00:03:23] I'm glad there's a synopsis here because I couldn't tell you what this movie is about.

[00:03:27] Other than Bond doing Bondy things.

[00:03:30] This might have been complicated.

[00:03:32] And Russians and computers and satellites.

[00:03:36] I know there was a lot of squeezing of the rib cage from an unchained hyena.

[00:03:44] And some really cliche 90s hacker shit like this.

[00:03:47] Yes.

[00:03:48] I'm in the mainframe.

[00:03:51] When a powerful satellite system falls into the hands of Alec Trevlin,

[00:03:58] aka Agent 006, a former ally turned enemy,

[00:04:01] only James Bond can save the world from an awesome space weapon that in one short pulse could destroy the earth.

[00:04:10] As Bond squares off against his former compatriot,

[00:04:13] he also battles Trevlin's stunning ally, Xenia Onatop,

[00:04:19] an assassin who uses pleasure as her ultimate weapon.

[00:04:24] It's something.

[00:04:25] I hated it so much.

[00:04:27] Okay.

[00:04:29] Starring Pierce Brosnan, Sean Bean, Isabelle,

[00:04:32] Stamka Jansen, Judy Dench, Ellen Cumming, and Joe Don Baker.

[00:04:38] It was directed by Martin Hamble.

[00:04:40] It was written by Ian Fleming, Michael Franz, and Jeffrey Cain.

[00:04:44] And you can currently watch it by renting it on Apple, Google Play, and YouTube for $3.99.

[00:04:50] But before we start, let's get into our ratings rewinds.

[00:04:54] So you know the drill.

[00:04:55] Before we get into the movie, we'll reveal the rating our Y2K versions of ourselves would give.

[00:05:00] Then at the end, we'll see if our current selves agree with our initial rating.

[00:05:04] Our scale consists of Would Buy It, Would Buy It Again,

[00:05:08] The Best, Would Play On Repeat,

[00:05:11] Five Day Rental,

[00:05:12] Would Watch Again,

[00:05:14] Two Day Rental,

[00:05:16] Okay, But Nothing To Write Home About,

[00:05:19] And Same Day Rental.

[00:05:20] Trash. Straight up trash.

[00:05:22] I was trying to think of something clever to say and all I could think of was,

[00:05:25] I am an invincible.

[00:05:32] Definitely Would Buy It, Would Buy It Again.

[00:05:34] As a matter of fact, when I watched it, I just pulled the DVD off of my shelf.

[00:05:39] I think this came out when I was 12 years old or when I first saw it.

[00:05:43] I don't think I saw it in theaters, but I think I probably went down to Blockbuster to rent it with my family.

[00:05:48] This kicked off my love of James Bond.

[00:05:50] And I think from here, I have three box sets of DVDs that covered every...

[00:05:56] I have every single James Bond movie on DVD from Sean Connery all the way to Pierce Brosnan.

[00:06:01] And this was the one that kind of like kicked that off for me.

[00:06:05] So definitely like Y2K Me, Would Buy It, Would Buy It Again.

[00:06:09] Nice. Jackie?

[00:06:11] I've never seen this.

[00:06:13] Same girl, same.

[00:06:19] Never seen it.

[00:06:21] I got real excited because I was like, oh, this is the one I did see with Michelle Yeoh and I'm super psyched.

[00:06:26] And it wasn't.

[00:06:28] It was not.

[00:06:29] I was not watching a Michelle Yeoh movie.

[00:06:32] I was excited because I've always told Nick I would give James Bond a chance.

[00:06:41] And so I tried really hard and I do really enjoy Pierce Brosnan and I love him in After the Sunset, which is like a heist movie.

[00:06:51] And so I'm like, OK, I'll get like kind of the same ish, like charming, gonna like break in, do some shit.

[00:07:00] Yeah.

[00:07:01] And then that quickly devolved.

[00:07:04] I've never seen...

[00:07:05] Oh, yes.

[00:07:06] I've never seen that one.

[00:07:07] I always think of Thomas Crown Affair.

[00:07:10] He's not a spy.

[00:07:11] He's a thief.

[00:07:12] But I love that one.

[00:07:14] He just has so much charisma.

[00:07:16] But it couldn't save it for me.

[00:07:19] Yeah.

[00:07:20] Tough this being your first James Bond, like this is definitely easily without a doubt the best of the Pierce Brosnan James Bonds.

[00:07:26] I went so low downhill.

[00:07:28] But yeah, but like but even still like this being the best James Bond, like I was using, because I watched a lot of them in the lead up to this.

[00:07:35] At first I started trying to watch them in chronological order.

[00:07:38] But like the Sean Connerys get real bad, real fast.

[00:07:41] And then they all start to blend together.

[00:07:42] And I'm like, I can't do that anymore.

[00:07:44] That's OK.

[00:07:45] Abandon that plan.

[00:07:46] So then what I did was I went to like Metacritic and like went in or like ranked order from best to worst on Metacritic.

[00:07:54] And some of them I had seen before, but I was like, let me just make sure I work my way down.

[00:07:59] Even on Metacritic, GoldenEye is number nine out of all like 27 James Bond.

[00:08:04] So it's like not great in the whole pantheon of James Bond films.

[00:08:08] It's pretty mid as far as James Bonds go.

[00:08:10] So it's like, I really wish this wasn't the first one you'd watched.

[00:08:15] There are a lot of James Bonds out there.

[00:08:18] Well, for me, it's more Jackie because I've seen other ones now if I remember them.

[00:08:24] I think I've seen a good majority of the Daniel Craig one.

[00:08:28] And I saw the Michelle Yeoh one.

[00:08:34] Box office budget for this movie was 60 million.

[00:08:38] It made $356.4 million worldwide, which that's a lot of moolah.

[00:08:47] I thought it was interesting.

[00:08:48] So this movie came out in 95.

[00:08:51] I think they started in 94 with having Pierce come on was like a transition from the last Timothy Dalton movie.

[00:09:00] And it was caught up in litigation for six years.

[00:09:04] They had a high during those six years.

[00:09:05] They kept I think this movie originally was supposed to come out in 1990.

[00:09:09] That's how crazy it was.

[00:09:12] And they were talking to Timothy.

[00:09:13] And at first he was like, I don't know if I want to come back.

[00:09:15] He kept on going back and forth.

[00:09:17] And at some point he was like, you know, I will come back because I just want to have a last go at it.

[00:09:24] But because now we've had the six year hiatus, the producers were like, OK, you can come back.

[00:09:30] But you have to sign a deal that you do it for like at least three more.

[00:09:35] You can't just like come for this one off and then go, which I think is stupid.

[00:09:39] Like who would have cared if he did one more and then they switched it?

[00:09:41] Like it was whatever.

[00:09:43] Because at that point, the last movie, that was like the end of his deal.

[00:09:49] So I think actually was an expiration in time as well.

[00:09:54] And so he was just like, I'm not trying to do it.

[00:09:58] So again, back and forth.

[00:09:59] And the funny thing is it's the longest gap between Bond movies since the series had started in 1962.

[00:10:06] There was a big gap between Spectre and No Time to Die that tied that time.

[00:10:11] And that was because obviously we had COVID.

[00:10:13] So this is the most successful James Bond movie since Moonraker.

[00:10:19] Those names.

[00:10:20] And the first James Bond to be released on DVD.

[00:10:25] I watched it on DVD.

[00:10:26] I've been trying my best if I can get my hands on it.

[00:10:30] I'm watching it in original format.

[00:10:33] Nice.

[00:10:35] It's fun watching these early runs of DVD production and when the menu comes up.

[00:10:41] And I remember thinking it was a big deal, like the menus interactive.

[00:10:46] Or finding secret scenes and stuff like that.

[00:10:50] Yeah, the things I took for granted.

[00:10:53] When that Goldeneye menu came up for me, I was like, here we go.

[00:10:57] Gotta crack the vault.

[00:10:59] It's just like a thing with four little options.

[00:11:02] Yeah, let's go.

[00:11:03] What were the trailers on this one?

[00:11:05] Do you guys know?

[00:11:06] They went straight to a menu.

[00:11:09] That's interesting.

[00:11:10] They didn't have it as one of the features?

[00:11:13] Because sometimes they'll just have the...

[00:11:15] Okay, that's interesting.

[00:11:17] Well, before we get into the casting, let's hear a word from our panel.

[00:11:25] Hello, I'm a Sophisticate and so can you.

[00:11:28] Is the name of our podcast.

[00:11:29] I'm one of your hosts, Anthony.

[00:11:31] And I'm another of your hosts, Sydney.

[00:11:33] And we're two queer millennials with ADHD.

[00:11:35] Who have been lying about our own cultural literacy.

[00:11:38] If you've ever been in a situation where you pretended to know more than you do about an important movie or a piece of literature.

[00:11:47] Yeah, or like a super cool band.

[00:11:49] Then this is the show for you.

[00:11:51] This is a show where we engage with the canon so that you don't have to.

[00:11:55] Topics for discussion will include such things as...

[00:11:58] Is Carrie Brownstein the coolest person?

[00:12:01] Can anyone who likes the movie Chinatown be trusted?

[00:12:05] Why Tom Waits, why?

[00:12:07] All of these questions and more will be answered on every episode of I'm a Sophisticate and so can you.

[00:12:12] Available wherever you find your podcast.

[00:12:15] All right, so we talked about replacing Dalton.

[00:12:21] And what was also interesting is that Pierce Brosnan couldn't get out of his contract because he was on that show Remington Steel.

[00:12:32] So Dalton ended up coming on.

[00:12:35] It was before Dalton took the role.

[00:12:37] So Pierce Brosnan is who they originally thought of before Dalton.

[00:12:41] So it's almost like he was meant to have this role.

[00:12:44] He thought like the ship has had sailed at this point, but then he got a chance.

[00:12:50] So apparently at certain points, Mel Gibson, Hugh Grant and Liam Neeson were offered the role and passed.

[00:12:58] Liam Neeson stating that he said his then fiancee Natasha Richardson wouldn't marry him if he accepted the role.

[00:13:07] I also read somewhere that he said he didn't want to do an action movie, which is funny because he later stars in Taken.

[00:13:14] And I was just like, oh, we were just saving it for later.

[00:13:17] I think he just chose love over bond and that is the best.

[00:13:21] It's funny that you say later.

[00:13:23] He chose like 25 years later, like so much later, like a child.

[00:13:28] And Hugh, looking at this and I heard that Hugh Grant, Hugh Grant?

[00:13:32] Never.

[00:13:33] He's too goofy.

[00:13:35] He has, I think he has the charisma in a different way, but I just there's just no way.

[00:13:40] And I'm glad he knew that I'm not doing that.

[00:13:43] Yeah. It's like puppy dog charisma.

[00:13:46] It's not my debonair.

[00:13:49] It's period piece situation.

[00:13:52] Like he does well in a period piece, I think.

[00:13:54] Which is like now that I'm thinking about it, like I've watched like a little bit of the Roger Moore, James Bond,

[00:14:00] like he's in Moonraker and a couple of the others.

[00:14:02] And Hugh Grant, like basically there's a stretch of bonds.

[00:14:06] Like Roger Moore is one of those, like there's just not a lot of action.

[00:14:09] Like he's not, there's no explosions and jumping out of airplanes and stuff like that.

[00:14:12] He's very, very schmoozy and very, you know, just kind of charming debonair spy guy.

[00:14:18] That's just interacting with other spy guys.

[00:14:20] Like it's, I think like if Hugh Grant was in it, it would have been a very different type of thing.

[00:14:26] I would not have liked that as much.

[00:14:29] Agreed. I think now we're so committed to this action, like over the top action bond.

[00:14:35] I don't even know if they can go back to the old ways.

[00:14:39] Ralph Fiennes was also considered, but I find it funny that he did eventually come back to the series.

[00:14:47] Now he's M. So.

[00:14:50] And the newer ones.

[00:14:52] Oh yeah, that's right.

[00:14:55] And speaking of M, this was the first appearance of as Judi Dench cast as M.

[00:15:02] And apparently there was some pushback when they found out that the collective,

[00:15:08] they found out that a female was going to be M until they experienced Judi Dench as M and then everyone quickly shut up.

[00:15:18] She's great as M.

[00:15:20] And like, apparently this came about because, well, it was inspired by Stella Remington, who was the head of MI5.

[00:15:30] Yeah, MI5 in, I think it happened in 92.

[00:15:35] So real life, our life imitating, our art imitating life essentially.

[00:15:41] But she does a really good job that scene where she like pretty much calls Bond out on his just misogyny and being an asshole.

[00:15:51] I love that.

[00:15:52] Yeah, she was great.

[00:15:54] So a lot of changes.

[00:15:56] There's a six year gap between this one and the last one.

[00:15:58] And so with those changes, this was the only Bond movie where Bond, M and Moneypenny were all recast.

[00:16:06] The only holdover is, and he's been around, it was in like a dozen of these, was Desmond Llewellyn as Q.

[00:16:12] But yeah, brand new Bond, a brand new M and a brand new Moneypenny in this one.

[00:16:16] Who is Moneypenny? Is she like the secretary?

[00:16:20] Yeah.

[00:16:21] Essentially, yeah.

[00:16:22] Yeah.

[00:16:23] But I always thought, I was thinking when I saw Desmond like, or Q, it's dangerous for this elderly man to be in here.

[00:16:31] No?

[00:16:34] Just saying.

[00:16:36] That's his job though.

[00:16:37] It's what he does.

[00:16:38] Paying day out.

[00:16:40] I had to look up who Paul McGann was, but apparently this poor man was on the hook thinking that he potentially, like if Brosnan had turned it down, he would have been the choice.

[00:16:52] And when I looked him up, like I knew who he was, but I was like, nah, man, that wasn't gonna be it.

[00:17:00] I was like, how is this number two?

[00:17:02] Like I would say Daniel Craig is probably the only Bond that I'm not physically attracted to.

[00:17:08] The rest of them could all get it.

[00:17:10] Even Sean Connery's racist ass, all of them.

[00:17:14] Even Roger Moore.

[00:17:15] They all could get it, but not Daniel Craig.

[00:17:17] Except when he was wearing that fitted white hang top in that commercial dancing around.

[00:17:24] I was like, okay, I see what Rachel Weisz is seeing.

[00:17:28] I get it.

[00:17:30] But as Bond, that's not my thing.

[00:17:33] Just saying.

[00:17:34] Interesting.

[00:17:35] Yeah, I just, I don't know.

[00:17:36] I'm just like, we have different tastes in men apparently, Daniel.

[00:17:39] Daniel Craig could get it.

[00:17:40] Like he, like, I, yeah, his whole physique and his whole look and demeanor.

[00:17:46] Maybe more, maybe I'm more, I don't know, his knives out persona then.

[00:17:49] Yes.

[00:17:50] I'm just meaning as James Bond.

[00:17:52] It didn't do it for me.

[00:17:53] But I do love Paul McGann because he's a part of the Doctor Who world.

[00:17:58] Yes.

[00:17:59] But James Bond, no, I don't see it.

[00:18:02] Also, could you imagine any James Bond movie being directed by John Woo?

[00:18:08] No, thank you.

[00:18:11] They offered it to him and he turned it down.

[00:18:14] He said he was honored by the offer.

[00:18:17] Like I can't see a bomb with James Bond and then doves flying.

[00:18:21] It just is not working for me.

[00:18:23] Yeah.

[00:18:24] Yeah.

[00:18:25] That's just, I, you know, like speaking of it, it evolves and changes like

[00:18:27] Bond should kind of move with the times, but John Woo.

[00:18:31] That's a big change.

[00:18:32] That's a big change.

[00:18:34] The end fight sequence would have been much different than just running

[00:18:38] around and stomping on hands on a ladder.

[00:18:43] Yeah.

[00:18:44] I can't wait till we get into that.

[00:18:46] This movie would have been like two and a half hours long at least.

[00:18:49] It was so weird seeing Sean Bean in his younger years again, or not like

[00:18:55] in Lord of the Rings, like Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings for me.

[00:18:59] And another fucking movie.

[00:19:01] This man dies.

[00:19:03] He dies all the time.

[00:19:06] Sean Bean, he came on the screen and Ken's like fucking Sean Bean

[00:19:10] in this movie.

[00:19:11] I'm like, spoiler alert.

[00:19:13] It must be double 06.

[00:19:14] I didn't know he's going to be a double agent.

[00:19:18] Oh, Nick, I have this question.

[00:19:20] Okay.

[00:19:21] In the James Bond world.

[00:19:23] Am I as the viewers supposed to believe that these different iterations

[00:19:28] of James Bond are like the same character or is it that each generation

[00:19:36] like they assign double 07 to a new and that's the same character.

[00:19:41] Like they assign double 07 to a new and that's like their name.

[00:19:45] That is, I think, a debatable question.

[00:19:48] I think the idea that double 07 and I think, okay, as far as I know,

[00:19:54] the name James Bond is supposed to be consistent.

[00:19:57] Like it's supposed to be the same character doing 30 different spy

[00:20:00] missions.

[00:20:01] The number double 07 changes with the person.

[00:20:05] So when James Bond retires, a new person will be double 07.

[00:20:08] So I think we are supposed to believe that all five of the different

[00:20:11] actors across these 27 movies are all the same character.

[00:20:16] They are all the same person doing all kinds of different spy shit.

[00:20:20] Interesting.

[00:20:21] Okay.

[00:20:22] Yeah.

[00:20:23] Yeah.

[00:20:24] Trying to wrap my brain around that.

[00:20:26] The other thing is that it wasn't until Daniel Craig that they even

[00:20:30] attempted to make any kind of chronology.

[00:20:33] Like all the other ones are just kind of scattershot one off.

[00:20:36] Just like, yeah, we know James Bond.

[00:20:37] He's doing this now.

[00:20:38] And there's not any kind of timeline order.

[00:20:42] Or like reference back to a previous mission.

[00:20:45] I think they should have stuck to that.

[00:20:48] They shouldn't have stuck to it being so that they don't have to explain

[00:20:51] shit later. Now they're there.

[00:20:53] They have to be committed to this chronological situation.

[00:20:57] There's canon now.

[00:20:59] Yeah.

[00:21:00] The Daniel Craig one kind of sets an arc and it's like,

[00:21:02] there's a beginning and an end.

[00:21:03] And I guess the theory is that in this arc that Daniel Craig has built,

[00:21:08] all the other like 22 movies that are not Daniel Craig or like underneath

[00:21:11] this umbrella that Daniel Craig built.

[00:21:15] I guess that would be the argument.

[00:21:16] I don't know how much I buy it,

[00:21:18] but that's the argument that the producers would give to you, Danielle.

[00:21:21] Everything is happening inside this umbrella story arc that the Daniel

[00:21:25] Craig movies have created.

[00:21:27] The actresses considered as Bond girls were Elizabeth Hurley.

[00:21:30] I could have totally seen her in this role and Elle Macpherson,

[00:21:34] Paulina Poroskova and Eva Harrow were offered the role of Natalia,

[00:21:40] but turned it down.

[00:21:42] Really disappointed to read that none of these actors are Russian,

[00:21:45] which actually now makes me really sad because I think this Bond is trying to

[00:21:49] do a lot to get past some of the old misogyny,

[00:21:51] not the old sexism and the racism. And it doesn't quite get there.

[00:21:55] It doesn't quite do enough.

[00:21:56] And seeing that none of the Russian characters or the Soviet characters,

[00:22:00] none of those are actually played by Russian actors. It's kind of like, man,

[00:22:04] we could have done a little better. We could have.

[00:22:08] To the defense, like, I mean,

[00:22:10] I'm sure there's a ton of Russian actors all around the world that they could

[00:22:14] have found. It's, I guess it like the math of it.

[00:22:18] I didn't realize how not far away the fall of the Soviet union was.

[00:22:23] And so this was right after the fall of the Soviet union.

[00:22:27] This was the first time that they can actually film in Russia.

[00:22:30] It was a lot of changes happening because of even the storyline,

[00:22:35] because I think most of the Bond storylines had to do with the cold war

[00:22:41] previously. So this was like, okay,

[00:22:45] we've got to shift a little bit with story,

[00:22:48] like how we're telling these stories.

[00:22:50] So I maybe that's why they didn't have as many Russian actors,

[00:22:55] who knows, but disappointing as well. Yeah. Alan coming as Boris.

[00:23:00] I love my boy and he can do an accent because Nightcrawler in X-Men,

[00:23:06] he does a really good one. In my opinion. I don't know if it's accurate.

[00:23:10] Yeah. And Robbie Coltrane of course is also wonderful actor and does a real

[00:23:15] good, but then like, it kind of brings my like,

[00:23:17] are these really great Russian accents or is this just me as an American

[00:23:20] viewer? Like, this is what I think of Russian accents.

[00:23:23] All I've ever heard are like, you know, Western actors doing Russian accents.

[00:23:27] So I don't know. Like, yeah, they're great. But I'm like, ah,

[00:23:31] we have gotten an actual Russian to help us out here, please.

[00:23:35] Yeah, that's true. My personal favorite scene, if you can,

[00:23:38] I'm not sure how cut off she is behind me,

[00:23:41] but Minnie Driver is in this movie and it was a surprise as I'm watching it.

[00:23:46] And like, that's my boo.

[00:23:48] She earned $5,000 for her role as an inept singer who's performed

[00:23:54] Stand By Your Man in Robbie Coltrane's club. Funny enough,

[00:23:58] Driver is an amazing singer,

[00:24:01] but she did not provide the singing voice for this role.

[00:24:05] It was actually given to a singer named Michelle Eldridge.

[00:24:08] It's like missed opportunity. Why not let the girls sing?

[00:24:11] That wouldn't have been easier. I don't know.

[00:24:14] Maybe there's royalties or something in it.

[00:24:16] But we start with the longest fucking bungee jump I've ever witnessed in my

[00:24:22] life. And at first I'm like, is that the Hoover Dam?

[00:24:28] Do I know where we are? No, we're somewhere in Russia.

[00:24:32] James is Contra Dan in Switzerland.

[00:24:36] But we're supposed to be in Russia.

[00:24:37] I know, but it was filmed in Contra Dan in Switzerland.

[00:24:42] I was just confirming that I was in the right place.

[00:24:45] Yeah, you are. You're right.

[00:24:48] And then it's like,

[00:24:49] he jumps very far and then he has like this grappling hook gun that he shoots

[00:24:54] into the side of the wall and then it like winds him to pull him closer to the

[00:24:59] wall. And then I'm just like,

[00:25:00] he just strapped that bungee cord to like a rope and then he's like,

[00:25:04] wow, that's crazy.

[00:25:06] So he has like a bunch of rope and then like he's like,

[00:25:10] like this is a bungee cord to like a railing at the top of the

[00:25:16] dam. What did he have? Just like there?

[00:25:20] There was no cannilever to hold him out from the wall when he had just

[00:25:24] jumped in immediately smacked against the wall at some point.

[00:25:28] Jackie

[00:25:29] I know what you're going to say, Nick.

[00:25:30] We just need to pretend it's not real.

[00:25:32] That I didn't fucking care.

[00:25:35] I was like,

[00:25:36] I don't even think I watched the whole Bungie thing.

[00:25:39] I think I fast forwarded and said, what's next?

[00:25:42] Oh Lord.

[00:25:43] I watched it.

[00:25:45] If you watch the one Bond movie,

[00:25:47] you will notice there's like a tradition

[00:25:49] of there being this kind of like,

[00:25:50] it's almost like a cold open where just like,

[00:25:52] we're just going to do some ridiculous spy shit.

[00:25:54] Like I remember there was one,

[00:25:55] I think it was like from Russia with love

[00:25:57] or it might've been Thunderball

[00:25:58] where he has like a jet pack.

[00:25:59] Like, he's like going to fight some dudes

[00:26:01] and then he gets off to the roof

[00:26:02] and he puts on a literal jet pack

[00:26:03] and he's like the rocketeer and flies off.

[00:26:05] And it's like, it's always ridiculous.

[00:26:07] It's always over the top,

[00:26:08] but it like, it just sets the stage like,

[00:26:10] oh, you're watching a Bond movie.

[00:26:11] Like this is going to be some like next level spy stuff.

[00:26:14] You just got to go with it.

[00:26:16] All right.

[00:26:17] You gotta go with it.

[00:26:18] I had a great time in the intro

[00:26:20] because my girl, Tina Turner was singing.

[00:26:23] Yeah, she was.

[00:26:24] And so I was like, yeah.

[00:26:26] Dancing along, having the time of my life.

[00:26:29] And then he came out with that string and shit,

[00:26:32] but that was fun times.

[00:26:34] I didn't know that it was written by Bono

[00:26:36] and The Edge of you two.

[00:26:38] Interesting.

[00:26:40] So that opening bungee jump,

[00:26:42] the highest one from a structure in a movie,

[00:26:45] the drop was over 722 feet.

[00:26:49] So now we're in a Russian facility

[00:26:52] with explosives, ammunition.

[00:26:55] I don't know what they're harboring in there.

[00:26:57] Fake barrels that Donkey Kong used to throw

[00:27:02] in the Donkey Kong country.

[00:27:04] That's my reference point.

[00:27:07] Oh, and then, so he breaks in,

[00:27:10] but then he comes in from a vent that's in a bathroom.

[00:27:14] And so he has to knock out the guy that's on the toilet.

[00:27:17] And I turned to Ken, I was like,

[00:27:19] who does number two work for?

[00:27:21] And he's like, I don't know what you're talking about.

[00:27:23] Austin Powers, it's reversed.

[00:27:26] Austin is the one on the toilet,

[00:27:28] but someone sneaks in from a vent or from a panel.

[00:27:31] And so then we had to pause and I had to play him that scene.

[00:27:34] I was like, I feel like the more James Bond movies I watch,

[00:27:39] the more I'll understand about Austin Powers.

[00:27:42] And I think that was Nick's point

[00:27:44] that he was so mad at us

[00:27:46] that we knew all the Austin Powers movies.

[00:27:48] And he's like, how do you even know the references?

[00:27:51] And we're like, we don't.

[00:27:53] We're living on vibes.

[00:27:55] And it's honestly, it's wild watching these James Bond movies

[00:27:58] because then I start to recognize

[00:28:01] how many spin-offs and parodies and tropes and cliches.

[00:28:05] And they weren't always tropes and cliches and parodies.

[00:28:09] They used to be legit, genuine.

[00:28:12] Like the whole, the villains have numbers and not names.

[00:28:15] Like that's James Bond.

[00:28:17] You don't see his face, you only see him petting a cat.

[00:28:19] That's James Bond.

[00:28:21] So many of these things are just like,

[00:28:23] they used to be quintessential James Bonds.

[00:28:26] They're still part of the James Bond alchemy,

[00:28:28] but they're probably more famous now

[00:28:30] because they just get parodied and referenced

[00:28:32] and joked about.

[00:28:33] And sometimes I think the worst James Bond movies

[00:28:35] make fun of themselves basically

[00:28:37] because they tread in these tropes too hard

[00:28:40] and it becomes a joke of itself.

[00:28:43] But yeah, so when you see them in this movie,

[00:28:46] it's like, yeah, you see it in James Bond movies

[00:28:49] because that's where they come from.

[00:28:51] That's where they live.

[00:28:52] They don't just live in Austin Powers

[00:28:53] and all the other spin-offs.

[00:28:55] Inspector Gadget.

[00:28:59] But what I do love is that it is like,

[00:29:02] there is a symbiotic relationship

[00:29:04] between a lot of the spy movies.

[00:29:07] I think the success of like the Mission Impossible movies

[00:29:11] kind of pushed the James Bond movies

[00:29:14] into more action arena.

[00:29:17] Even I think if it's not just Mission Impossible,

[00:29:21] but definitely the Bourne Identity

[00:29:23] and how well that one did,

[00:29:25] that started why we even probably got

[00:29:28] a Daniel Craig version of the character

[00:29:31] because essentially they compete.

[00:29:34] He's not getting off on vibes and winks anymore.

[00:29:38] There's a lot of competition.

[00:29:39] So I kind of like that the genre

[00:29:43] is just like kind of pushing each other.

[00:29:46] So that's fun.

[00:29:48] I don't know if you've seen this movie,

[00:29:49] but it's nice to see origins go back home.

[00:29:52] See the OG, you know?

[00:29:54] We meet 006 played by Sean Bean.

[00:29:57] He's taken hostage as they're setting these detonators

[00:30:01] all over the facility.

[00:30:03] And something that comes around later in the movie

[00:30:06] is 006 tells James Bond to set them for six minutes.

[00:30:10] He only sets them for three minutes.

[00:30:12] So 006 is taken hostage and then he is shot

[00:30:16] or we're made to believe he is shot.

[00:30:19] And then the goofiest escape in all of cinema happens

[00:30:26] where he hides behind this rack of barrels

[00:30:29] and kind of just creaks through the facility,

[00:30:34] pops on a conveyor belt and shoots himself out.

[00:30:38] Yes, after releasing all the Donkey Kong barrels

[00:30:40] and knocking over all the bad guys.

[00:30:41] Yes.

[00:30:43] Yes.

[00:30:44] And then from here, it gets even more ridiculous.

[00:30:47] This is where I was starring all the classic 007 tropes

[00:30:51] that we saw.

[00:30:52] So Bond makes his way outside

[00:30:53] and now he's running outside

[00:30:56] and then he tries to get into an airplane,

[00:30:58] but then he can't.

[00:30:59] So he gets on a motorcycle.

[00:31:01] But in the meantime, the general bad guy, Orimov,

[00:31:04] is chasing him out the door.

[00:31:06] And he says...

[00:31:07] So now Orimov and 50 Soviet bad guys are chasing Bond

[00:31:11] and they've got machine guns

[00:31:13] and Bond's going away on a motorcycle.

[00:31:15] And Orimov says, wait, like wait for what?

[00:31:19] They're like, why aren't you shooting him?

[00:31:23] And it's all Bond villains

[00:31:24] and Bond movies love a very dramatic death.

[00:31:27] Like would rather like, wait, hold on.

[00:31:30] We're gonna watch this guy drive his motorcycle off a cliff.

[00:31:32] Don't shoot him because I want to see him.

[00:31:34] I wanna watch him fly his motorcycle off a cliff.

[00:31:37] Stop, wait.

[00:31:39] Why are we waiting?

[00:31:40] It's because it's what we do in Bond movies.

[00:31:42] We make the dramatic death.

[00:31:44] Like, yes, you have a 5% chance of escape,

[00:31:47] but it's gonna be awesome.

[00:31:49] There's no such thing as a double tap in a Bond movie.

[00:31:53] Nick, I have a question.

[00:31:56] So one of the fun facts is that

[00:32:00] this is the first completely original James Bond movie

[00:32:03] without a reference to any of Ian Fleming's novels

[00:32:06] or short stories.

[00:32:07] Does this happen after this point

[00:32:10] or do they ever go back to referencing his novels

[00:32:17] or short stories?

[00:32:18] Yeah, well, I know the only one that I know for sure

[00:32:20] is Casino Royale, the Daniel Craig one

[00:32:22] is an Ian Fleming Bond novel,

[00:32:26] but I don't know for sure any of the others.

[00:32:27] I would have to look that one up.

[00:32:28] But so it's not the last time.

[00:32:30] Like they definitely went back to Ian Fleming at least once,

[00:32:33] but I would venture to guess

[00:32:35] that kind of like you were mentioning,

[00:32:36] like as the kind of genre of spy films

[00:32:39] kind of like went into this upward spiral,

[00:32:41] they might've had to go more original content

[00:32:44] to kind of come up with that.

[00:32:46] Yeah. Okay.

[00:32:47] As Nick was saying,

[00:32:48] he drives his motorcycle off a cliff into the airplane

[00:32:53] he wasn't able to get into earlier

[00:32:55] and like pulls the little stick thing

[00:32:59] and somehow gets the airplane back up in the air

[00:33:03] when he is like 50 feet from the ground.

[00:33:07] No, but the crazy, okay.

[00:33:09] The math on this one wasn't math for me.

[00:33:12] This man at high speeds flies off a cliff

[00:33:17] with the motorcycle.

[00:33:18] So the motorcycle, if you're watching on video,

[00:33:20] I'm visually showing you, the motorcycle is here.

[00:33:25] The plane is here.

[00:33:27] I thought it was gonna be cool

[00:33:28] like he was gonna fly the motorcycle

[00:33:31] into the back of the plane.

[00:33:32] No, he flies over and then jumps off the motorcycle.

[00:33:39] Motorcycle falls, he's falling,

[00:33:42] but now he's trying to dive into the plane

[00:33:45] and I'm like, how are you getting there?

[00:33:48] Yeah.

[00:33:48] Well, you make yourself more,

[00:33:50] because the plane starts going down instead of out.

[00:33:55] And so, yeah.

[00:33:57] It's just, it's un-fucking realistic

[00:33:59] because when you do finally dive into the plane,

[00:34:03] it's not a soft place to land, Jackie.

[00:34:07] He wasn't-

[00:34:07] I'm not arguing that it is.

[00:34:10] You're going the same speed.

[00:34:11] The plane and Bond are going the same speeds.

[00:34:13] They just kind of like change his lanes.

[00:34:15] Just whoop, and now he's in the plane.

[00:34:16] His brain would have been splattered

[00:34:19] on the fucking windshield of the plane.

[00:34:22] Here's the thing you don't know though, Danielle.

[00:34:24] This is not the first time James Bond has done this.

[00:34:27] He does this all the time.

[00:34:29] In Moonraker, he died.

[00:34:32] Another dramatic death.

[00:34:33] Instead of shooting Bond, they like shoot the plane

[00:34:36] and then the villains like skydive out.

[00:34:38] And so Bond's like in a plane.

[00:34:39] He's like, well, I'm not gonna stay in this plane.

[00:34:41] I'm gonna jump out even though I don't have a parachute.

[00:34:43] And he like, villain is skydiving with a parachute.

[00:34:46] Bond is skydiving without one.

[00:34:47] And he like catches up to the villain,

[00:34:49] takes his parachute in midair and like survive.

[00:34:52] Bond does this stuff all the time.

[00:34:53] It's what he learns.

[00:34:54] Well, then I think everyone needs to stop bitching

[00:34:57] about the Fast and the Furious movies

[00:34:59] and how Dom is fighting a building in a parking lot

[00:35:03] and crashing through cement and not dying

[00:35:06] because the unrealness of this started

[00:35:09] with this crazy white man and his nonsense.

[00:35:13] But any who, continue Jackie.

[00:35:15] I just was saying for me, I was at the edge of my seat

[00:35:18] saying, this is not logical.

[00:35:20] I thought for sure he was gonna have a parachute.

[00:35:23] I said, this dude's trying to get into the plane.

[00:35:27] No.

[00:35:29] Conceit to the genre, Daniela.

[00:35:32] There's a lot of conceiting in this movie, Nick.

[00:35:34] And we're only like five minutes into the movie.

[00:35:37] This is a cold open here.

[00:35:38] We haven't gotten the credits yet.

[00:35:41] So we do see the facility blow up

[00:35:45] and then we get golden eye by Tina Turner.

[00:35:49] And then now we're in Morocco

[00:35:51] in this weird car race situation

[00:35:56] on like a road with pin hair turns.

[00:35:59] So it is James driving an Aston Martin DB5.

[00:36:03] You're welcome.

[00:36:04] I'm glad it's a James Bond car.

[00:36:05] Which they do switch to BMWs later in this movie

[00:36:09] because there was a deal with BMW.

[00:36:12] Yeah.

[00:36:13] Yes, and this was the first time

[00:36:14] that they had a German car, I think.

[00:36:17] Famke Janssen shows up as, I don't even know her name.

[00:36:21] What's her name?

[00:36:22] Benja Anatopou.

[00:36:23] Thank you.

[00:36:24] You're welcome.

[00:36:27] Thighs that kill.

[00:36:29] That's who she is.

[00:36:32] She's driving a Ferrari Spyder 355.

[00:36:35] Is Money Penny the one that's in Bond's car

[00:36:38] or is it a random blonde lady?

[00:36:40] No, it's a lady who was sent by M

[00:36:43] to do an evaluation on him.

[00:36:45] Remember his BFF co-worker just died.

[00:36:49] So they're trying to see if he's good.

[00:36:53] Which obviously not, if we're getting our adrenaline

[00:36:58] from driving these crazy streets, racing with a Ferrari.

[00:37:02] I will have to give him credit for being a bad bitch

[00:37:04] because who gets a lady who's supposed to be evaluating you

[00:37:09] in your car, you're in a race with your next side piece

[00:37:14] in the next car racing against you.

[00:37:17] You're filling her up with adrenaline.

[00:37:21] She knows you wanna sleep with the other lady

[00:37:25] and then she sleeps with you.

[00:37:28] It's the champagne in the car.

[00:37:30] I mean, I like a man with a plan and it was chilled.

[00:37:35] It was.

[00:37:37] So this is like, again, kind of like putting in context

[00:37:40] of like the history of Bond.

[00:37:42] There's always women in a Bond movie

[00:37:45] that are just like, they are unnamed characters

[00:37:47] and they all do this.

[00:37:49] They're all like, oh James, you're incorrigible.

[00:37:51] And there's like, whatever, he'll put their lives

[00:37:54] in danger or do something ridiculous.

[00:37:57] And then he's just like, oh, but hey.

[00:37:59] And then it's like, oh, okay.

[00:38:02] There's no lines or anything.

[00:38:03] He's just like, look, I have champagne.

[00:38:04] And she's like, oh.

[00:38:07] But honestly, I think this is another,

[00:38:10] I think GoldenEye is trying to shift past old Bonds

[00:38:14] because in previous ones, there was a lot of that.

[00:38:16] A lot of just like, why are these women just literally

[00:38:19] just having sex with Bond with no context whatsoever?

[00:38:22] Like you met me 15 minutes ago and now we're in bed.

[00:38:26] Wild.

[00:38:27] But the older ones would get, it is not okay.

[00:38:34] There is no consent happening.

[00:38:35] There's no like, oh James, this is amazing.

[00:38:38] It's like, actually James, I don't want to,

[00:38:41] but you're forcing the issue.

[00:38:42] Like there's one, I think it might be Thunderball,

[00:38:44] the old Sean Connery, where he literally like,

[00:38:46] a woman is like, oh my gosh, I can't believe that happened.

[00:38:49] My boss is gonna kill me.

[00:38:50] And he's like, well, I have a price for my silence.

[00:38:52] I won't tell your boss if, and then like,

[00:38:54] and it's like, oh, gross, gross, gross, gross, gross.

[00:38:57] So it's like this kind of idea of like,

[00:38:59] oh James is like, there's a pattern

[00:39:03] that's kind of part of the Bond alchemy,

[00:39:05] but this is like as okay as it gets.

[00:39:09] It's still weird, right?

[00:39:10] It's still, I don't love this idea,

[00:39:13] but it's like, this is about as okay as it gets.

[00:39:15] And I think Gold and I made a specific intentional thing,

[00:39:18] be like, this is as gross as Bond is gonna be,

[00:39:21] is I have champagne in the armrest of my car all the time,

[00:39:24] just in case I need to-

[00:39:26] Does he also have Plan B condoms and STD tests?

[00:39:32] Do we ever get Bond taking a test?

[00:39:34] Because that's a lot of punan to be over the years.

[00:39:41] Maybe it's part of-

[00:39:42] Where is Q Branch on this?

[00:39:43] Like, is Q Branch gonna like create like,

[00:39:45] you know, he's got like,

[00:39:45] oh, there's like a condom in his watch or something?

[00:39:47] I hope so.

[00:39:51] Q, do it.

[00:39:53] Maybe it's like part of the M6 protocol

[00:39:57] is like standard STD testings once a month

[00:40:02] just to make sure all our agents are still good to go.

[00:40:06] Yeah, he needs one at least every three weeks.

[00:40:10] So now we are playing Baccarat like you do.

[00:40:15] What is that game?

[00:40:17] And why do those cards have no numbers?

[00:40:19] I will be confused.

[00:40:20] I would have to count, like-

[00:40:23] There was a time, Jackie,

[00:40:25] you remember like vacationing in Reno

[00:40:27] and watching the like,

[00:40:28] how to play the casino game channel in the hotel?

[00:40:30] Jackie has brought it up.

[00:40:32] Just came up and go because they were sick.

[00:40:35] And so they were just watching the man teach them

[00:40:37] how to play back, or not backgammon.

[00:40:40] I think it was Baccarat.

[00:40:41] And I was like, we used to sit and watch.

[00:40:44] I still don't know how to play a single game.

[00:40:47] I'm confused on 21 sometimes.

[00:40:49] I swear, I know that when I was like 10 years old,

[00:40:52] I knew how to play Baccarat

[00:40:54] because I watched that channel so much.

[00:40:56] But yeah, now I have no idea how to play Baccarat.

[00:40:58] Those skills are lost.

[00:41:02] But I did learn that there is a lady in a gold dress

[00:41:06] standing behind the top.

[00:41:08] And that lady, whatever the last Timothy Dalton one was,

[00:41:13] she won a contest to cameo in the next James Bond movie.

[00:41:19] Well then all of the litigation and stuff

[00:41:21] and figuring out a new bond and everything happened.

[00:41:25] But they held true to their word

[00:41:27] and that lady in the gold dress is the contest winner.

[00:41:31] Thank you, licensed to kill.

[00:41:33] She was the contest winner.

[00:41:34] And so she got to be an extra in the next Bond movie

[00:41:38] just as she had won.

[00:41:40] Six years later.

[00:41:41] Six years later.

[00:41:43] That's cool.

[00:41:44] At least they kept their promise.

[00:41:47] Yeah, I like that.

[00:41:49] So we find out that on a top is Georgian

[00:41:53] and then he gets back in his car

[00:41:54] and it's like this little receipt spits out

[00:41:58] that has his next operative

[00:42:02] and a dossier on her.

[00:42:08] So he knows what he's supposed to be doing.

[00:42:10] Well, again, this is part of the Bond alchemy.

[00:42:13] It's super spy shit.

[00:42:15] He took the pictures.

[00:42:16] He snuck out and took the pictures

[00:42:18] and then within minutes he goes to his car

[00:42:20] and he has intel on all the things

[00:42:22] that he just took pictures on.

[00:42:23] He knows who's in on a top is he knows where the boat is.

[00:42:26] It's like, it's magic.

[00:42:27] It's spy stuff.

[00:42:28] It's so cool.

[00:42:29] It's the Monte Carlar.

[00:42:34] So now we also see she leaves

[00:42:38] with some man with credentials she needs.

[00:42:42] Yes.

[00:42:43] And apparently her superpower

[00:42:47] is that her thighs can crush the chest of a man.

[00:42:52] They're just like fooling around in the bed

[00:42:54] and then she just hits off his air supply.

[00:42:58] But the way she does it is she is manic.

[00:43:03] She's fucking psycho.

[00:43:07] Okay, like that kind of foreplay.

[00:43:10] I mean, I know people are into pain

[00:43:11] but she is digging her nails into his chest.

[00:43:15] She's like, I don't wanna say slapping him

[00:43:17] but she's just like throwing them around

[00:43:20] and then she's like, making all these noises

[00:43:24] but everything she does sounds

[00:43:25] like she's getting an orgasm off of it.

[00:43:27] Even later on when she fights Bond, it's like, girl.

[00:43:32] I think she is.

[00:43:34] Like, I think that's the character is that,

[00:43:36] that is her kink.

[00:43:37] She gets sexual pleasure from killing people.

[00:43:40] I think like, so I don't think it's like it sounds

[00:43:41] I think we're meant to believe that she actually is.

[00:43:44] Are we kink shaming Zenia on top here?

[00:43:48] Yes.

[00:43:50] I'm gonna say.

[00:43:52] I hate to do it but also I think part of it was just,

[00:43:57] and it could be James Bond lore that like

[00:44:01] crazy shit happens

[00:44:03] but there was definitely overacting happening in these.

[00:44:07] She was scary.

[00:44:08] That's what it was.

[00:44:09] It wasn't even the kink itself

[00:44:11] but it was like, you're in danger, sir.

[00:44:15] I wanted to help him.

[00:44:18] Like, do you not see it's like a wild animal.

[00:44:22] You don't see you about to get tore the fuck up.

[00:44:28] I was just gonna say like,

[00:44:29] is that a critique against masculinity?

[00:44:30] Like he's just so enraptured by her like sexuality

[00:44:33] that he doesn't see the danger

[00:44:35] that's kind of lurking behind it.

[00:44:36] A hundred percent.

[00:44:37] That's a fair assessment.

[00:44:38] Especially that the point in which she does kill him

[00:44:44] is when he turns over and he's on top.

[00:44:49] So he thinks that he has the upper hand at this point.

[00:44:54] He's like, okay, I'll let you slap me around

[00:44:56] but I'm about to thrust.

[00:44:58] And she's like, nah, homie.

[00:45:00] And he says, and he doesn't even

[00:45:03] like he's still holding onto his masculinity

[00:45:07] where he's like, you know, I can't breathe?

[00:45:09] Question mark.

[00:45:10] It's not even like, like he doesn't even grasp.

[00:45:14] He's not even fighting back

[00:45:15] because he has lost the plot at this point.

[00:45:18] And he's here to say it.

[00:45:19] The idea that he's gonna die doesn't cross his mind.

[00:45:21] No.

[00:45:23] Yeah.

[00:45:24] But then like, speaking of Bond lore though

[00:45:25] is like there is a long history of Bond villains

[00:45:28] having like weird kind of like odd job in gold.

[00:45:32] I wanted to say gold member.

[00:45:34] It's Goldfinger is the actual movie.

[00:45:36] Goldfinger throws like a razor brimmed hat

[00:45:40] to like slice things in half

[00:45:41] or like jaws from Moonraker and others

[00:45:44] like bites people with his teeth.

[00:45:46] Like it's like, there's always Dr. No

[00:45:48] the very first one has these like mechanical bionic hands

[00:45:51] that crush things like Bond villains.

[00:45:53] There's a long history of Bond villains

[00:45:54] having these kind of like interesting, unique

[00:45:57] kind of superpower type, you know, villainy.

[00:46:00] And Xenia Onatop is just the next one.

[00:46:04] She, I think is the only one that has this kind of kink

[00:46:06] like she gets pleasure from murdering people

[00:46:10] which is, that's kind of unique

[00:46:12] but this is not, this is part of the Bond alchemy.

[00:46:15] This is part of the lore.

[00:46:16] This is what happens.

[00:46:18] The net, she has stolen the card she needs

[00:46:21] because Bond is not aware at the time

[00:46:23] but she is planning on stealing a tiger helicopter

[00:46:27] that has a lot of sophisticated tech on it

[00:46:30] that she needs for the next part of her plan.

[00:46:32] Onatop and her partner, they end up overtaking two guys

[00:46:38] so that they could take the helicopter

[00:46:40] without anybody knowing and Bond tries to stop it

[00:46:43] but they hold him back because of it.

[00:46:47] And again, it's Xenia's sexuality that gets the, you know

[00:46:51] takes over the pilot and they steal a helicopter.

[00:46:53] It's cause she's irresistible.

[00:46:55] Yeah, she doesn't even have to do lunch.

[00:46:57] She has boobs, that's all.

[00:47:01] And then the next scene is I wrote computery stuff.

[00:47:07] They're just like in a bunker somewhere

[00:47:11] in the former Soviet Union.

[00:47:14] And it's a bunch of like programmers and stuff

[00:47:18] and they have this really sophisticated satellite

[00:47:22] that can talk to Goldeneye

[00:47:24] which is this weapon that's in space.

[00:47:27] That can target pretty much anywhere you want

[00:47:31] to send lasers, bombs, I don't know.

[00:47:35] But this is the first Bond film to use a computer

[00:47:38] to use computer generated imagery.

[00:47:41] And it was probably one of the last ones

[00:47:43] that they used miniatures and some of like

[00:47:47] the practical effects in comparison

[00:47:50] but the computer generated imagery,

[00:47:53] cause we meet Boris, we meet the lead actress

[00:47:57] which I cannot remember her name.

[00:47:58] Natalia.

[00:47:59] Natalia.

[00:48:00] Natalia.

[00:48:01] We meet these characters

[00:48:02] and Boris played by Alan Cumming is just a horn bag

[00:48:08] like programmer, developer, whatever.

[00:48:11] And every password that he has

[00:48:15] has some sort of trick question like attached to it.

[00:48:19] Riddle.

[00:48:20] Yes, he's a fucking Riddler essentially.

[00:48:23] He is.

[00:48:25] Right.

[00:48:26] One of the graphics that comes up looks,

[00:48:28] it reminds me of like a Nintendo graphics from that time.

[00:48:32] Like, wow, how far have we come?

[00:48:34] My God.

[00:48:35] Cause it's a state of the art when it came out.

[00:48:40] It reminds me of the scene in Camp Nowhere

[00:48:42] where they're like scramble the jets,

[00:48:44] take out Milwaukee.

[00:48:45] That's all I heard.

[00:48:48] Honestly, like one of the parts that I just laugh most

[00:48:51] about like going back on all these old movies is

[00:48:53] like what was like cutting edge high tech.

[00:48:55] Like there's like this like hacker shit in the nineties.

[00:48:58] Like now like 30 years later is like, oh my God.

[00:49:02] What did we think we were doing?

[00:49:04] But there was so much like mythos around it.

[00:49:07] I'm just like, what are these like weird, nerdy

[00:49:10] techie computer guys doing?

[00:49:11] And it's like, they're not doing that.

[00:49:12] But you know, but we thought they were.

[00:49:14] It was mind boggling high tech computer

[00:49:17] to hack the mainframe shit.

[00:49:19] I think it's also because back then

[00:49:21] the general public really had no knowledge base of it.

[00:49:26] Right.

[00:49:27] And so it did feel very foreign.

[00:49:29] And I think they could get away

[00:49:31] with doing the stupidest shit.

[00:49:33] Like I'm sure if you had a real programmer

[00:49:36] from back then would have been like,

[00:49:39] that's not what we do.

[00:49:41] Y'all are tripping.

[00:49:42] Horace goes out for a smoke and

[00:49:46] Natalia goes to go get coffee.

[00:49:48] So they're both not with everybody else.

[00:49:51] Zenia and the other guy come in, they shoot everyone.

[00:49:57] I'll help you out with all the Russian names.

[00:49:58] I got you.

[00:49:59] Thank you.

[00:50:00] And they're there because there's a very important,

[00:50:03] they need the key codes and the like little card

[00:50:07] in order to recalibrate GoldenEye and lock onto a target.

[00:50:12] We get more Zenia killing people and enjoying it.

[00:50:16] Yeah.

[00:50:17] And then we get Natalia is in like the break room

[00:50:21] and she knows shit's going down.

[00:50:24] So she sees the vents above her and she climbs up

[00:50:28] and you think she's climbing into the vent.

[00:50:30] They hear her.

[00:50:31] So Zenia goes in there, shoots up the ceiling

[00:50:36] and is like-

[00:50:37] And having an orgasm.

[00:50:38] Yeah.

[00:50:39] Yeah.

[00:50:40] And then says, I had to ventilate someone

[00:50:42] as if that's a thing somebody saw.

[00:50:47] But Natalia was hiding in a cabinet like she,

[00:50:52] it was a red herring.

[00:50:54] She's trying to figure what the fuck happened.

[00:50:57] She sees that GoldenEye has been armed and then,

[00:51:00] but it's pointed at her facility.

[00:51:02] So she does this flying leap under some concrete stairs.

[00:51:09] It looks like she flies like 10 feet across the room.

[00:51:16] And then we're like, what is that really gonna protect you

[00:51:18] if like you have this electric pulse

[00:51:22] is what GoldenEye is, the weapon is.

[00:51:25] And then like, everything's just on fire.

[00:51:28] Things are falling, but she survives

[00:51:30] because she's a survivor.

[00:51:33] Well, I appreciate the fact that she's not a damsel

[00:51:37] in distress throughout this movie.

[00:51:39] Like she really does take care of herself.

[00:51:41] It's not very often that Bond actually has to save her

[00:51:46] per se.

[00:51:46] I'm not sure if that's part of the Bond lore

[00:51:49] like, or was this like one of the first times

[00:51:52] that we see this question?

[00:51:54] It's definitely like, I haven't seen

[00:51:57] the two Timothy Dalton ones that were like in the 80s.

[00:52:00] So maybe it happened, but definitely not

[00:52:02] in like the Sean Connery's and the Roger Moore's

[00:52:04] was there like an actual woman who could take care of herself

[00:52:07] or like, I just say like in Moonraker,

[00:52:10] like late 70s Roger Moore,

[00:52:13] there's like one of the scientists is a woman,

[00:52:17] but it's very much like Roger Moore's like,

[00:52:19] well, a woman astronaut.

[00:52:22] You're like, how about that?

[00:52:24] And then like, she's also a CIA agent.

[00:52:26] It's like, get out of here.

[00:52:27] A woman CIA, like there's like, it's a lot of like,

[00:52:30] but she doesn't, so she could like her character could,

[00:52:33] but she doesn't actually do a thing.

[00:52:36] Yeah.

[00:52:37] So like, I think this really is kind of a move

[00:52:39] to get women actually having more oomph,

[00:52:43] more substance, more power, more perseverance.

[00:52:46] Yeah, I think this is part of that shift

[00:52:48] that we're seeing a move in Bond.

[00:52:50] And then in the next scene,

[00:52:51] we see it too because they're debriefing

[00:52:54] because M6 knows that GoldenEye has been activated.

[00:52:59] And so they're going into the briefing room

[00:53:01] and Moneypenny shows up and she's dressed very formally.

[00:53:05] Her hair's all done and James starts hitting on her.

[00:53:09] He always does like, yeah,

[00:53:11] that's what James and Moneypenny do is,

[00:53:13] or actually I should like, so this is the switch.

[00:53:15] I think you were gonna mention this.

[00:53:16] Usually it's James flirts with Moneypenny

[00:53:19] and Moneypenny swoons.

[00:53:20] Yes.

[00:53:21] And at this point she's like, no, I was going out on a date.

[00:53:24] I was called into work

[00:53:26] and then he makes some offhanded comment

[00:53:29] and she's like, you never had me.

[00:53:30] Like, you can't be reactionary about a date

[00:53:35] when you've never taken me out on a date, so whatever.

[00:53:39] And then she also throws in,

[00:53:41] someday you need to make good on your innuendos.

[00:53:45] So she's kind of dishing out

[00:53:47] what he's always been dishing out.

[00:53:50] And now we're-

[00:53:52] He's debriefing and that's when we see Em come in,

[00:53:56] kind of sneakily behind them and catches them

[00:53:59] in some gossip, I guess you could say.

[00:54:03] And she ain't playing no games.

[00:54:05] I do have to interject and say,

[00:54:08] something about Dame Judi Dench

[00:54:10] makes me think of my grandma,

[00:54:13] as if she's the white Nana.

[00:54:16] I could see that.

[00:54:17] That's a white Myrtle.

[00:54:18] Yes.

[00:54:19] Right there.

[00:54:20] Yeah.

[00:54:21] Like, she's sweet Nana, but with an edge,

[00:54:26] which is Myrtle too.

[00:54:28] Yeah.

[00:54:30] Oh, so we were debriefed on the incident.

[00:54:35] The Soviet Union says

[00:54:37] that it was just an accident during routine training.

[00:54:42] Everything's fine here.

[00:54:45] Governments change, but the lies stay the same.

[00:54:47] Yes.

[00:54:49] And now we get to meet Q with all of his wonderful toys.

[00:54:54] Can we just real quick,

[00:54:56] like, I think we kind of mentioned this earlier,

[00:54:57] but Em being a woman and like calling out,

[00:55:02] like she kind of has this great monologue

[00:55:04] where she's like, you know, you don't like,

[00:55:06] it's not, she doesn't say you don't like me

[00:55:08] because I'm a woman.

[00:55:09] She says, you don't like me

[00:55:10] because you don't like my methods.

[00:55:11] Like I do things differently than my predecessor.

[00:55:14] You don't like the way I do things.

[00:55:15] And I think you're a misogynistic dinosaur

[00:55:18] and kind of like, I think like signals

[00:55:19] like this Bond movie and every Bond movie

[00:55:22] after this is going to be different.

[00:55:24] Like we're doing, I kind of like heard that dialogue

[00:55:27] and I'm like, I think like there's this sort

[00:55:29] of meta conversation happening that things are going

[00:55:33] to be different in the Bond movies from here on out.

[00:55:35] I was like, that was kind of cool.

[00:55:36] Like the way they did that and gave those lines

[00:55:39] to Dame Judi Dench who delivered them brilliantly,

[00:55:41] of course, because she's beautiful.

[00:55:43] I also love that when they're getting drinks

[00:55:47] or she's getting bourbon, which is apple juice

[00:55:50] with two lumps of ice cubes.

[00:55:53] Yeah, ice and glass ice cube.

[00:55:55] Ice cube, yeah.

[00:55:56] And Pierce Brosnan is drinking ice water

[00:56:00] instead of the famous vodka martini when he's drinking.

[00:56:04] So glad to know that they weren't lushing it up on set.

[00:56:09] I would have enjoyed if Dame Judi Dench just got sloppier

[00:56:12] and sloppier as the movie progressed.

[00:56:15] She's like, shit's fucked.

[00:56:18] Oh, but come on, how many takes do you think

[00:56:20] Judi Dench needed to run those lines?

[00:56:21] She's only having two drinks to that whole thing.

[00:56:25] She's got it nailed.

[00:56:27] Does Q give James anything aside

[00:56:29] from the clicky detonator pen?

[00:56:32] Yes, a belt.

[00:56:34] And a car.

[00:56:35] Oh yes, he gets the BMW Z3 is his new fancy car.

[00:56:41] Yes, I love this Q Branch stuff.

[00:56:44] Like that's one of the parts of James Bond movies

[00:56:46] that I was like, this is the best.

[00:56:47] Like just, I don't know,

[00:56:48] just gizmos and gadgets aplenty.

[00:56:50] I'm all about it.

[00:56:51] It's just, it's Alfred.

[00:56:53] Like just show me what you got, Alfred.

[00:56:55] Like what toys do you have for me?

[00:56:58] Like you were saying that so much of this

[00:57:00] is James Bond canon that it's so ingrained

[00:57:05] in cinematic history that we see now

[00:57:08] this version of these characters in different movies.

[00:57:12] We see in a lot of action movies,

[00:57:15] a lot of different superhero movies.

[00:57:18] There's always that person that does the gadgets

[00:57:20] and makes the updates.

[00:57:22] So you get a very Q-esque vibe.

[00:57:25] So, so much so that like, again,

[00:57:27] I haven't seen a lot of these movies

[00:57:29] but it did feel like familiar because of it.

[00:57:32] And to know that most likely stemmed from them

[00:57:36] is, it was interesting.

[00:57:38] And then James has to, where does he fly to?

[00:57:42] Russia?

[00:57:43] Russia.

[00:57:44] Okay.

[00:57:44] And then he is picked up by, who is the man?

[00:57:49] CIA agent from America.

[00:57:52] Yeah.

[00:57:53] And he's-

[00:57:54] Wade.

[00:57:55] Wade.

[00:57:56] And this is the one of many appearances that he makes.

[00:58:01] It's another like canon thing.

[00:58:03] Like James always has a CIA counterpart,

[00:58:06] a CIA buddy who's like not quite as good as James Bond.

[00:58:10] But this Wade, like the way this version of that character,

[00:58:13] I'm like, this guy's a clown.

[00:58:14] Like why did you make this guy a clown?

[00:58:17] I mean-

[00:58:18] He's very bumbling.

[00:58:19] Yeah.

[00:58:20] Which is kind of part of James Bond.

[00:58:21] Like there's, there it's-

[00:58:23] Making fun of Americans.

[00:58:25] Well, yes.

[00:58:26] And rightfully so.

[00:58:27] But also like just making fun of itself kind of like,

[00:58:30] as opposed to like Jason Bourne or Mission Impossible

[00:58:33] or the, like, it's like,

[00:58:34] James Bond never takes itself too seriously.

[00:58:36] And so there's always a bit,

[00:58:38] like we see it in Q Branch where it's a little slapsticky

[00:58:40] and we see it in Wade who's just, he's just a clown.

[00:58:43] But of course it's the American that's the clown.

[00:58:45] But that's fine.

[00:58:47] This character reminds me of Marcus Brody

[00:58:50] from Indiana Jones.

[00:58:51] Just like, he'll get it done.

[00:58:54] He'll kind of stumble his way through it,

[00:58:56] but it'll end up fine in the end.

[00:59:00] Yeah.

[00:59:01] At the same time, Boris is trying to track down Natalia.

[00:59:05] And so he finds her and he sends her a message like,

[00:59:09] hey, it's not safe.

[00:59:11] Let's meet at this church.

[00:59:13] So she's put her faith in Boris, unfortunately.

[00:59:18] Yeah, because she finds him.

[00:59:20] She's looking for him.

[00:59:21] She goes to a Xerox place

[00:59:23] and pretend she's going to buy all this stuff

[00:59:25] so she could get access to try to find him.

[00:59:28] And she sees that he's online.

[00:59:30] And then like, she goes to the church

[00:59:32] and he of course,

[00:59:35] box her over.

[00:59:36] That scene of course made me laugh.

[00:59:37] It was like, oh yeah, you have to find like a computer store

[00:59:40] just for a computer to use that's on the internet.

[00:59:43] Like it's so 90s package stuff again.

[00:59:45] But yeah, she ends up meeting,

[00:59:47] finding Boris and meeting Boris and trusting Boris, sadly.

[00:59:50] Yes.

[00:59:51] And then we find out that Boris is in on it.

[00:59:54] And so now she has been captured,

[00:59:58] Thunder Thighs team.

[00:59:59] And the reason that they even know

[01:00:01] that they need to capture her is because at one point,

[01:00:04] the, I don't know, general guy,

[01:00:06] I don't know what, who this man is.

[01:00:08] There's a war room and we have General Orumov

[01:00:12] with Defense Minister Mishkin.

[01:00:14] And it seems like Defense Minister is suspicious of him.

[01:00:20] And he's like, well, there's two survivors.

[01:00:23] And so he already knew about Boris,

[01:00:24] obviously, because he's on his payroll,

[01:00:26] but had no idea that Natalia was still out there.

[01:00:29] So he freaks the fuck out

[01:00:31] because he's trying to retire and dip

[01:00:33] and blame the whole scenario of everything that happened

[01:00:37] on some separatists.

[01:00:39] But now he knows he's in trouble.

[01:00:40] He's got to eliminate Natalia before she tells

[01:00:43] because she saw him and Hobity.

[01:00:46] I don't remember her name.

[01:00:48] What's her name again?

[01:00:49] Tanya.

[01:00:49] Thunder Thighs.

[01:00:53] You know, despite like, other than the character's names,

[01:00:55] y'all are following the plot really well.

[01:00:57] You're doing great.

[01:00:58] Thank you.

[01:00:59] Now, this is the scene where we show up to Robbie Coltrane.

[01:01:04] Hi, grid.

[01:01:05] We show up to his bar and or his club

[01:01:09] and we get the scene behind Danielle,

[01:01:11] mini driver singing a lovely rendition

[01:01:15] of Stand By Your Man.

[01:01:16] I could have watched her all day.

[01:01:19] When he tells his CIA like counterpart

[01:01:23] that he needs like help to be able to find the Russian

[01:01:30] people and whatnot.

[01:01:30] Yanis.

[01:01:31] Yanis.

[01:01:32] I think it was like to find this one,

[01:01:35] like so he's going after this group called Yanis.

[01:01:37] That's like, they're the ones that stole the helicopter

[01:01:39] and they're the ones that-

[01:01:40] Right.

[01:01:41] He's like, I need Yanis' competitor

[01:01:44] to help me get ahold of Yanis.

[01:01:46] He's like, I know this other arms dealer villain bad guy.

[01:01:50] I'll like, I'll talk to that guy

[01:01:52] and he'll help me get me in touch with Yanis.

[01:01:53] So that's where we end up in.

[01:01:55] His name is Zukovsky.

[01:01:57] And he has a history with Bond, right?

[01:01:59] Yeah.

[01:02:00] Because he's an arms dealer and Bond's a spy

[01:02:01] and they've fought each other in the past.

[01:02:03] And he's limping and he's like, I gave him the limp.

[01:02:06] So there's beef as soon as, so his CIA guy's like,

[01:02:10] how are you going to even convince him to work with you

[01:02:12] if you hurt him?

[01:02:13] If like you, if y'all have beef and he's like money,

[01:02:16] money will supersede anything.

[01:02:18] Yeah.

[01:02:19] And then all of a sudden we're swimming

[01:02:21] in a very fancy pool.

[01:02:22] That was, okay.

[01:02:24] Like, so to be real, this is a plot point where I was like,

[01:02:26] wait, what?

[01:02:27] So he does this whole thing where he gets

[01:02:29] Robbie Coltrane involved so he can like connect himself

[01:02:31] with Yanis and then he ends up in a swimming pool

[01:02:34] with Xenia on the top and Xenia brings him to Yanis.

[01:02:37] He's like, why did we even need,

[01:02:38] we don't even need the dude.

[01:02:39] Like just get other guys to take you.

[01:02:41] What's the problem?

[01:02:42] He didn't know she was going to come.

[01:02:44] And if you go to Russia, you've got to go to a bath house.

[01:02:46] Hello?

[01:02:47] I told Ken that is my perfect pool.

[01:02:51] Like it is just a little round pool.

[01:02:54] I could tippy toe in, it's inside.

[01:02:56] So I'm not going to get sunburned.

[01:02:58] I could just enjoy my best life in my little tiny pool.

[01:03:03] I just need it like chest deep.

[01:03:04] That's it.

[01:03:05] And he's just floating in the middle.

[01:03:07] He's not doing anything.

[01:03:08] He's just chilling.

[01:03:09] And then we got, we get like in the sauna room,

[01:03:13] Thunder Thighs and him start like wrestling,

[01:03:17] but kind of making out, but then he,

[01:03:19] she bites his lip and like, then he realizes like.

[01:03:23] Is this bitch crazy?

[01:03:24] Yeah.

[01:03:25] He picks up on it a little faster

[01:03:26] than our Admiral friend did in the beginning.

[01:03:28] Yes.

[01:03:30] And then it ends with him picking her up

[01:03:33] and setting her on the hot stones in the sauna

[01:03:37] and burning her ass.

[01:03:39] Yeah.

[01:03:40] She didn't seem mad about it though.

[01:03:41] No, she did for a second, but then it was almost like,

[01:03:45] I don't know, she starts yelling and screaming again.

[01:03:48] Once he throws her to the floor and he's like,

[01:03:50] I'm not playing with you bitch.

[01:03:51] Cause he pulls out a gun.

[01:03:52] He's like, I'm fucking done with these games.

[01:03:54] Cause she's a cobra snake essentially.

[01:03:56] She tried to squeeze him to death.

[01:03:58] He's like, I am playing these fucking games.

[01:04:01] And she, again, orgasming all over the place

[01:04:05] as she's getting brutally, like, I'm like, what is this?

[01:04:09] Bitch, you crazy.

[01:04:10] And it is kind of another funny sort of like twist

[01:04:12] on Bond lore.

[01:04:13] Cause he's all, he sleeps with everybody,

[01:04:15] like villain, friend, random stranger.

[01:04:17] Like he'll sleep with anybody.

[01:04:18] He doesn't care.

[01:04:19] So he's like slept with, you know, double crossing,

[01:04:21] you know, villain henchmen before.

[01:04:23] But I think this time he's like, okay.

[01:04:28] Even James Bond has a line.

[01:04:30] My own.

[01:04:30] Yeah.

[01:04:31] And she was it.

[01:04:33] So she takes him to Giannis and when he gets there,

[01:04:37] that's when he meets his brethren.

[01:04:41] Yeah.

[01:04:41] It finds out Giannis is double O six.

[01:04:43] Yes.

[01:04:44] Yeah.

[01:04:45] And now his face is scarred up

[01:04:48] because James set the timers for three minutes

[01:04:52] instead of six.

[01:04:53] But they're in like this weird,

[01:04:55] there's lots of statues around.

[01:04:57] Like, is it a statue graveyard?

[01:04:59] Like.

[01:05:00] Is it a graveyard graveyard?

[01:05:01] But there's lots of statues.

[01:05:04] And prior to this,

[01:05:05] when he was with Robbie Coltrane's character,

[01:05:08] he informs him that there's a group of Russians

[01:05:13] that worked with England to try to help in World War II,

[01:05:20] I believe, to help try to take them down and be safe.

[01:05:25] But what the government does is they get this until they,

[01:05:29] you know, but they end up sending these people back

[01:05:33] and these people are all killed, mother, children,

[01:05:37] everybody for being traitors essentially.

[01:05:41] But we now learn when MI6 comes back

[01:05:44] and he's telling his whole villain story

[01:05:47] because they love to do that.

[01:05:48] He was monologuing.

[01:05:52] Not getting straight to business,

[01:05:53] telling him the whole fucking plot.

[01:05:56] We find out that he's an orphan

[01:05:58] and that MI6 didn't think he would remember his parents

[01:06:03] in that story.

[01:06:04] So the whole reason that all this shit is happening

[01:06:08] is because he's trying to get revenge against his parents,

[01:06:10] for his parents, against MI6.

[01:06:15] The British government, like everybody.

[01:06:16] And Russia as well.

[01:06:18] So he's playing both sides.

[01:06:22] I'm very surprised I knew any of it.

[01:06:27] You're doing great, Danielle.

[01:06:30] Look at us.

[01:06:32] The least disappointed Nick has been

[01:06:34] in any movie we've done with him.

[01:06:36] This is wonderful, y'all are doing awesome.

[01:06:39] Oh, we still have time.

[01:06:41] We understood the assignment.

[01:06:43] We knew how important Bond is to you.

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[01:07:18] But then we get into elaborate death number two.

[01:07:22] Like why don't we just kill this guy?

[01:07:23] No, no, no, no, no.

[01:07:26] We gotta do it dramatic style.

[01:07:27] We're gonna dart him, make him pass out.

[01:07:31] He's gonna wake up tied to a helicopter

[01:07:36] in the pilot seat while Natanya's in the back

[01:07:40] screaming her head off

[01:07:42] because it's set to like self-destruct in like 10 seconds.

[01:07:46] So what does Bond do?

[01:07:49] He uses his head and just starts bonking the shit

[01:07:52] out of all of the controls to get something to happen.

[01:07:55] So he turns the helicopter on,

[01:07:58] but his hands are still tied.

[01:08:00] He can't do anything else.

[01:08:01] So he keeps whacking it.

[01:08:02] And at the last second he hits the self eject button.

[01:08:09] But usually when you eject from-

[01:08:12] Crap.

[01:08:13] Yeah, thank you.

[01:08:14] Usually the top just like disconnect

[01:08:16] and the people are ejected

[01:08:19] and you're already wearing parachutes.

[01:08:21] No, no, no.

[01:08:22] This has like a whole cockpit scenario

[01:08:26] with parachutes attached to it.

[01:08:28] So we make sure everyone is safe.

[01:08:30] That's so convenient.

[01:08:33] I was confused because I was like,

[01:08:35] wow, they're shooting up real high in the air.

[01:08:37] They're gonna crash and burn when they land.

[01:08:39] But I forgot that there's parachutes that come out.

[01:08:42] Yeah.

[01:08:43] And also when you said it-

[01:08:45] To the ground.

[01:08:46] But also like how did he get out of the ties?

[01:08:49] Yeah, like he did it so fast.

[01:08:51] Now that he's not in danger, like, oh yeah,

[01:08:52] I can just, oh, it looks like I can just-

[01:08:54] Right.

[01:08:54] No problem.

[01:08:55] He was panicking.

[01:08:57] I don't know.

[01:08:58] We find out that there's another GoldenEye.

[01:09:02] And they're gonna-

[01:09:03] And another satellite, yeah.

[01:09:04] That was part of 006's monologue.

[01:09:06] Yes.

[01:09:08] And he's going to blow up London and create chaos

[01:09:12] and send them back to financial stone ages.

[01:09:17] Like he's gonna disconnect all the computery stuff.

[01:09:21] Which I think is a cool plan,

[01:09:23] but James Bond is playing with him psychologically

[01:09:26] when they meet up again and he's like,

[01:09:27] you're just the common thief.

[01:09:29] You're a bank robber.

[01:09:31] He's not doing anything.

[01:09:36] So now they're trying to frame James Bond.

[01:09:41] Is that correct?

[01:09:42] Or did I?

[01:09:43] I think that's why they did the dramatic death

[01:09:45] with the helicopter.

[01:09:46] Like they're trying to make it seem like

[01:09:48] Bond took the Tiger helicopter and he's like, right?

[01:09:51] But then, so he ends up in this scene

[01:09:53] where he's in the custody of defense minister Mishkin

[01:09:56] and Mishkin's interrogating Bond and Natalia.

[01:10:00] And then like everybody,

[01:10:01] then like in this conversation, I guess,

[01:10:03] like everybody figures out the truth.

[01:10:05] Like, oh, it's Oromov.

[01:10:06] It's, you know, like here's the plan.

[01:10:08] And Mishkin's like, oh, oh shit.

[01:10:11] But then Oromov storms in and he's like-

[01:10:13] He should have never let,

[01:10:14] like he keeps telling Oromov takes the gun.

[01:10:18] That's James Bond's gun.

[01:10:20] And he's like, oh, you better put that down.

[01:10:22] Bitch, you better take it.

[01:10:23] You just learned that this dude's trying to kill everybody.

[01:10:27] What are you doing?

[01:10:30] Yeah, as soon as he walked in the room,

[01:10:31] just like grab the gun and shoot him.

[01:10:32] Like, what are you doing?

[01:10:33] And so Oromov kills everybody

[01:10:37] and then he changes the clip, I guess.

[01:10:39] I don't know what's happening.

[01:10:40] He like empties it and then gives it back to Bond.

[01:10:42] Right, yeah.

[01:10:43] And then, yeah.

[01:10:44] And he's like pretty much saying, okay, now I'm framing you.

[01:10:49] And then James Bond figures out a way

[01:10:51] to like get himself out of that scenario

[01:10:53] with his lady friend.

[01:10:55] And they go into the archives

[01:10:56] and they knock all of the shelves over

[01:10:59] and blockade themselves inside.

[01:11:02] But it seems like you just go around a wall

[01:11:05] and you're in the archives.

[01:11:08] We need an excuse to use the gadget

[01:11:10] with the belt grappling hook thing.

[01:11:12] Yes.

[01:11:13] The whole setup was just so you could take off your belt

[01:11:15] and use it to swing across whatever.

[01:11:17] So they get Natalia, right?

[01:11:22] Yeah.

[01:11:23] And James needs a vehicle

[01:11:27] and we haven't used tanks yet, so why not?

[01:11:30] Let's go.

[01:11:31] Let's drive down the streets of St. Petersburg in a tank.

[01:11:34] It is a T-62 tank, if anyone was wondering.

[01:11:40] Penn knew it right away.

[01:11:41] So now they have Natalia on a train.

[01:11:44] Sean Bean is trying to straight up rape her.

[01:11:49] Not a great look.

[01:11:51] I hated it.

[01:11:53] I must have fast forwarded past that part.

[01:11:56] I think this might, like, I don't know, again,

[01:11:58] maybe I'm reading too much into it,

[01:11:59] but it kind of feels more of the meta,

[01:12:00] like this is a new James Bond.

[01:12:02] Like we're taking 006 and making him do

[01:12:05] all the gross villainy stuff that 007 used to do.

[01:12:08] Like we're shifting all of the really disgusting elements

[01:12:11] and putting them on 006.

[01:12:13] He's the villain.

[01:12:14] 007 is a new version of 007.

[01:12:17] He doesn't do that.

[01:12:17] 007 doesn't, 006 does.

[01:12:20] I feel like it's a missed opportunity

[01:12:22] to not have 00 live.

[01:12:24] It's similar to Doctor Who with the Master, right?

[01:12:28] So like the Master is kind of a villain

[01:12:31] that's on par with Doctor Who.

[01:12:32] Similar powers, similar thought processes,

[01:12:35] almost knowing all the secrets of Doctor Who.

[01:12:38] So being like a really good adversary to him.

[01:12:41] Having someone like 006 kind of continue on

[01:12:44] like he doesn't die.

[01:12:46] It's what Sherlock Holmes and-

[01:12:48] And Moriarty.

[01:12:49] Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, yeah.

[01:12:51] So being able to have someone like when he gets

[01:12:55] to that point and they find,

[01:12:57] they get James again later on in the movie

[01:13:00] and he's able to say,

[01:13:01] oh, well, is this the new one Q made for you?

[01:13:03] So knowing all the gadgets and stuff,

[01:13:06] I think it would have been fun to have just kind of like

[01:13:09] this long lasting overarching bad guy that doesn't quite die

[01:13:15] but may pop up all the time

[01:13:17] because he knows how James thinks.

[01:13:20] And that pushes James to have to do things

[01:13:22] outside of the box.

[01:13:23] Like, I feel like why can't we see something like that?

[01:13:26] That would be cool.

[01:13:27] Somebody who's been an agent, maybe not this character

[01:13:31] but maybe down the line who is pissed

[01:13:34] and wants to get revenge.

[01:13:36] Yeah.

[01:13:37] Have they done that yet?

[01:13:37] Well, like, cause the thing is like when you were describing

[01:13:40] that, I'm like, ah, I think the problem is

[01:13:42] that Bond has that with like the terrorist organization

[01:13:46] Spectre and their leader, Ernest Blofeld.

[01:13:49] And that's where you get the cat petting

[01:13:51] and the number two, number 10, number 12,

[01:13:52] like the whole organization.

[01:13:54] Like the organization of Spectre pops up in several Bonds

[01:13:58] and like kind of like keeps going throughout.

[01:14:00] But to be honest though,

[01:14:01] like the leader of Spectre, Ernst Blofeld

[01:14:03] is like, he's not 006.

[01:14:05] Like he's not at that level.

[01:14:07] So I think like, I think in the Bond lore,

[01:14:10] I don't know if there's room for two of those things

[01:14:13] but like I wish 006 might've been better in that role.

[01:14:17] Yeah, so you're right.

[01:14:17] It would have been cool to see that kind of

[01:14:19] that adversarial thing extend beyond one movie.

[01:14:22] Yeah.

[01:14:26] And at this point, all the bad guys get off the train, right?

[01:14:30] Except Oramov, Bond killed Oramov here

[01:14:33] and then Xenia and 006 escaped.

[01:14:37] Okay.

[01:14:38] And Bond has somehow driven the tank onto the tracks.

[01:14:43] So the train can crash.

[01:14:45] Well, he shoots the train

[01:14:46] and then the train is headed to crash into the tank.

[01:14:51] And so Natalia is trying to hack in to see where Boris is.

[01:14:58] And so she's tracing his signals

[01:15:02] and Jane's like, bitch, we gotta go.

[01:15:05] This train is about to crash.

[01:15:06] And there's a bomb on the train

[01:15:08] that's only set to three minutes.

[01:15:10] Dramatic death number three,

[01:15:12] where it's like, you can't just kill him.

[01:15:13] You can't just blow up the train.

[01:15:14] No, you had to give him three minutes.

[01:15:16] Yeah, you lock him in this cage as like,

[01:15:19] and again, these are really dumb mistakes on 006

[01:15:22] because he knows James and he knows what he would do.

[01:15:25] Like, he even says like, there's a line.

[01:15:27] He says, good luck with the floor, James.

[01:15:29] You have the same six minutes you gave me.

[01:15:31] He knows exactly what James is gonna do,

[01:15:33] how long it's gonna take and he lets him do it anyway.

[01:15:35] Like, yeah.

[01:15:36] It's so stupid.

[01:15:38] So we do get, they get out in the nick of time.

[01:15:40] Natalia at the very last second sees where Boris is.

[01:15:44] He's in the Caribbean.

[01:15:45] We got to go to the Caribbean.

[01:15:47] That's where the second golden eye is.

[01:15:49] It's not where the golden eye is.

[01:15:51] It's where the satellite large enough

[01:15:53] to communicate with golden eyes.

[01:15:56] And so-

[01:15:57] The CIA guy.

[01:15:59] He contacts a CIA guy to help

[01:16:02] and she says she's going with him, which also they,

[01:16:07] don't they screw at this point?

[01:16:09] Oh yeah, we get this weird, like, broody moody,

[01:16:12] like, there's that whole, like,

[01:16:14] she has this monologue about like,

[01:16:16] that's not why you're alive.

[01:16:17] That's why you're alone.

[01:16:18] And like all this, like,

[01:16:20] I think the Daniel Craig ones did this thing

[01:16:23] a little bit better of like the Bond girl

[01:16:25] and Bond actually like falling in love-ish.

[01:16:28] But we do get, we get a couple of scenes

[01:16:29] where we're trying to get the idea

[01:16:31] that Bond and Natalia love each other.

[01:16:33] I'm like, I don't know.

[01:16:34] It's been like three hours.

[01:16:36] Yeah.

[01:16:37] Yeah.

[01:16:38] Total of how much you've spent with each other.

[01:16:40] You're trauma bonding.

[01:16:41] That's it.

[01:16:42] Right.

[01:16:43] Yeah, yeah.

[01:16:44] Yeah, we do get a couple of scenes where it's like,

[01:16:45] ah, I get what you're trying to do.

[01:16:50] We're not there yet.

[01:16:51] I would like a Bond girl to actually be a wife and a mother

[01:16:55] and somehow she's going on a business trip,

[01:16:58] gets caught up in this shit

[01:17:00] and then she's like,

[01:17:01] and somehow she's going on a business trip,

[01:17:02] gets caught up in this shit.

[01:17:04] And she's like, you know what?

[01:17:06] I'm gonna have one for the road because I've almost died.

[01:17:09] I don't know if I'm going back.

[01:17:11] And if I'm going to go back to my husband and kids,

[01:17:14] I just want to, I'll have fun with this man.

[01:17:16] He's not the marrying type.

[01:17:18] Yeah.

[01:17:19] And then I go home and pretend nothing happened.

[01:17:21] I know that's probably not a good life skill

[01:17:23] to push for people who are married,

[01:17:26] but I would believe that more than we're in love.

[01:17:31] So now we get the super mega layer.

[01:17:33] Like this is another Bond trope.

[01:17:34] It's like, why are we in the evil layer

[01:17:36] that's built into the side of a volcano

[01:17:39] and shit like that.

[01:17:40] And we go, yeah.

[01:17:41] And then the satellite comes out of the ocean?

[01:17:45] Or like a lake of some kind?

[01:17:46] Yeah.

[01:17:47] And it's giant.

[01:17:48] Like it is huge.

[01:17:52] How do these things get built?

[01:17:54] How?

[01:17:55] Like the Death Star.

[01:17:57] Exactly.

[01:17:58] Like how many contractors do you need

[01:18:00] to build this evil layer with this giant satellite

[01:18:03] that's under like a million gallons of water?

[01:18:05] Like how, how?

[01:18:07] How does nobody knows?

[01:18:08] How is there not like,

[01:18:08] like they're flying over looking for it.

[01:18:10] And I'm like,

[01:18:11] there would be just construction equipment

[01:18:12] just strewn about everywhere.

[01:18:15] Cause you know these guys are just taking

[01:18:17] every single piece of evidence with them.

[01:18:19] Yeah.

[01:18:19] And it's not that deep under the water.

[01:18:22] So like you didn't see the outline from the air.

[01:18:25] Like, oh, that's a suspiciously large circle

[01:18:28] under the water.

[01:18:30] I wonder if that's the satellite we're looking for.

[01:18:34] I love how when it is exposed, Natalia goes,

[01:18:38] oh, I guess that's why we never saw it.

[01:18:40] Glasses.

[01:18:42] Maybe 007 needs context.

[01:18:47] So now we see,

[01:18:49] I just have helicopter, famca.

[01:18:52] This time, Mr. Bond, the pleasure will be all mine.

[01:18:55] Oh, right.

[01:18:56] They crashed the plane and they get one more fight,

[01:18:58] one more fight between Bond and Anna,

[01:19:00] but Anna top loses this time.

[01:19:02] Yes.

[01:19:03] That's what it is.

[01:19:04] She jumps out of a helicopter.

[01:19:05] She's still tethered to the helicopter.

[01:19:08] She's boa constricting Bond,

[01:19:11] but then who shoots the helicopter?

[01:19:15] Bond does.

[01:19:16] So like Natalia has like a gun on her back.

[01:19:17] Got it.

[01:19:18] So Bond like hooks her to the helicopter

[01:19:20] and shoots the helicopter with her gun.

[01:19:22] So the helicopter takes off,

[01:19:24] takes her with it and she gets like pinned to a tree.

[01:19:28] And I think he's able to do this

[01:19:30] because Natalia hits-

[01:19:34] Thunder thighs.

[01:19:35] Thunder thighs.

[01:19:36] And she's like, you'll have your,

[01:19:38] wait your turn kind of thing.

[01:19:40] But I think that's when she was distracted enough

[01:19:43] for Bond to be able to shoot up at the airplane.

[01:19:45] And the way in which this bitch dies

[01:19:47] was so satisfying for me.

[01:19:49] Probably the best part of the movie.

[01:19:52] Because she dies in the way in which she kills.

[01:19:56] Right.

[01:19:57] It essentially squeezes her to death.

[01:20:00] And then we get, I always did enjoy a good squeeze from-

[01:20:05] From Bond.

[01:20:06] Yeah, that was corny as fuck.

[01:20:09] So much corny.

[01:20:10] It's part of the Bond alchemy.

[01:20:12] You gotta have a little bit of corny.

[01:20:13] I think it's kinda-

[01:20:15] And so this is where we find out

[01:20:18] Second Golden Eye is targeting London.

[01:20:20] 006 says, God save the queen as he locks on,

[01:20:25] starts the countdown.

[01:20:27] James and Natalia are caught.

[01:20:29] There's leakage from one of the containers.

[01:20:32] And did he set the detonator or he was attempting to

[01:20:37] and he didn't quite get to it?

[01:20:39] He set it and what ends up getting rid

[01:20:43] or shutting down the detonator

[01:20:44] is when they bring Bond to 006

[01:20:49] and he pulls out all the things

[01:20:51] that could possibly be gadgets from Q

[01:20:55] and it's his watch actually.

[01:20:56] He's like, oh, this is a newer version.

[01:20:58] And so he hits the buttons to turn the detonator off.

[01:21:01] Got it.

[01:21:02] But he does not realize,

[01:21:04] which I think is very dumb of 006

[01:21:07] to not look at every fucking piece of thing

[01:21:09] that man has on him to know that Q made something.

[01:21:12] So he takes the pen and he kinda just throws it

[01:21:14] and that's when Boris, like that whole pen thing,

[01:21:17] I was trying my best to count.

[01:21:19] So we know that from the pen from Q,

[01:21:21] if you press it three times-

[01:21:24] I can't even spin it like he does.

[01:21:25] Right.

[01:21:26] It must've taken him a while to get the hang of that

[01:21:29] without dropping it.

[01:21:31] But if you press it three times, it becomes a grenade.

[01:21:34] But if you press it another three times

[01:21:37] within the, I believe, three seconds, six seconds,

[01:21:40] I'm not sure, then you can stop the detonation.

[01:21:43] So he does that and Bond is just watching,

[01:21:46] which again, 006 should have been like,

[01:21:49] why are you watching like that?

[01:21:52] So he-

[01:21:53] Oh, go ahead.

[01:21:54] It happened in a whole intense moment

[01:21:55] because at that point, Natalia had gone off to a duck,

[01:21:58] she hacked the mainframe again and changed the satellites.

[01:22:01] And so the satellite, instead of going over London,

[01:22:03] was gonna come crashing into earth.

[01:22:05] But Boris had to hack her codes

[01:22:07] to try and move the satellite.

[01:22:09] So there's this really intense scene where it's like,

[01:22:10] Boris is trying to hack,

[01:22:12] but like 006 is trying to like threaten both Bond and Natalia

[01:22:15] to give the password to Boris.

[01:22:17] And it's all this very, there's a lot going on.

[01:22:19] And so like, 006 is like really focused on,

[01:22:21] can Boris hack this, you know, do the hacking thing?

[01:22:24] And I love that they give Natalia the room

[01:22:28] and the opportunity to smack the shit out of Boris.

[01:22:31] Yeah.

[01:22:32] And at this point, this is when James finds his out

[01:22:35] to grab Natalia and try to go for cover

[01:22:39] because Boris finally hits it enough

[01:22:42] and the pen drops where the oil leak has happened

[01:22:46] or whatever.

[01:22:46] James whacks it out of his hand.

[01:22:48] Right, right.

[01:22:49] Yeah.

[01:22:50] And then shit starts to go boom.

[01:22:52] All chaos.

[01:22:53] Yeah.

[01:22:55] And then so 006 escapes,

[01:22:59] Boris is invincible, but a bunch of nitrous oxide,

[01:23:04] I think like essentially dry ice like falls on him

[01:23:10] and then he is frozen in his invincible state.

[01:23:13] Yes, which is why that another,

[01:23:15] my conceit to the genre is like,

[01:23:17] I'm wondering like,

[01:23:17] why is there like both some like explosive gasoline type

[01:23:21] stuff that would just blew up and like this kind of like

[01:23:24] night, like this liquid ice stuff,

[01:23:26] like why is all this stuff in this layer?

[01:23:28] Like just around for spill on people.

[01:23:30] And you don't need it.

[01:23:32] Like, it seems like it's just a secret mainframe

[01:23:35] for the satellite.

[01:23:36] Yeah, but you know,

[01:23:37] it made for a really good visual of Boris being frozen.

[01:23:40] And maybe it's for phase two of their really bad plan.

[01:23:44] I have no idea, but not bright.

[01:23:48] So now we're just in the satellite

[01:23:51] and there's a part that like hangs down

[01:23:54] and then there's like the dish below.

[01:23:56] Never seen a satellite like this before.

[01:24:00] Does a satellite like this exist?

[01:24:01] Like is this real?

[01:24:02] Because we are experts here at No More Late Fees

[01:24:06] on satellites.

[01:24:07] I know they're-

[01:24:08] People come here, you come for the movies,

[01:24:09] you stay for the satellite information.

[01:24:13] I know there are big telescopes.

[01:24:15] I don't know if there's big satellites.

[01:24:16] I would assume so.

[01:24:18] I'll ask him.

[01:24:19] If you know, comment below.

[01:24:20] If you know about satellites.

[01:24:22] I know that one of the factoids

[01:24:24] that I ended up not putting in this document

[01:24:27] was that one of the satellites that they do show

[01:24:30] or dishes or whatever is the same one they use for contact.

[01:24:34] And it literally takes 10 minutes to walk across it.

[01:24:37] So there are big satellites.

[01:24:40] Dishes, I guess we should be differentiating.

[01:24:42] Differentiating.

[01:24:43] Satellite dish.

[01:24:44] Dish, yeah.

[01:24:45] Versus the satellite in orbit.

[01:24:47] So proven, we are experts on-

[01:24:51] There we go.

[01:24:52] Yeah.

[01:24:53] Yeah, but we got 006 and 007

[01:24:55] are chasing each other around this giant satellite

[01:24:57] shooting at each other.

[01:24:59] Yeah.

[01:24:59] Thank you forever.

[01:25:00] I fast forwarded.

[01:25:02] Running, so much running

[01:25:05] and everyone is a horrible shot except for Bond.

[01:25:09] And it concludes with he stomps on a trap door

[01:25:16] that has a ladder attached to it.

[01:25:19] So then now he's just hanging further over the satellite

[01:25:23] into like just open air.

[01:25:27] And now it's a fight on the ladder

[01:25:29] and then 006 steps on his hand.

[01:25:33] And I don't even know how it happens,

[01:25:37] but eventually Alec gets thrown to his death?

[01:25:42] But he was so fucking high up.

[01:25:44] Thank you.

[01:25:45] And he lands.

[01:25:47] He should have been crushed.

[01:25:48] He was still, not only did he fall,

[01:25:51] like it shows that he looks like he broke bones,

[01:25:54] but he was still alive.

[01:25:56] There's no way.

[01:25:57] I'm no scientist, but I know about satellites.

[01:26:00] And if you fall on a satellite dish

[01:26:02] from that far up in the sky, you dead bitch.

[01:26:06] There's no coming back.

[01:26:08] Yes, I agree.

[01:26:10] I was taken by like how they shot that too.

[01:26:13] Like they show the whole fall?

[01:26:15] They show it in big.

[01:26:16] I was like, my God.

[01:26:19] I was very shocked at that too.

[01:26:21] I was like, oh my God.

[01:26:22] Because when they showed it as they were,

[01:26:24] I was like, oh, they're gonna show this.

[01:26:26] I thought pieces of his body would like,

[01:26:28] the impact of that alone from, there's just, there's no way.

[01:26:33] And so then he's still alive.

[01:26:35] He's not dead, which we know is fake.

[01:26:39] But then this other piece of something falls on him

[01:26:42] to make it look like the most horrific death.

[01:26:45] But I was like, no baby, that crash and fall was bad enough.

[01:26:50] We didn't need anything else.

[01:26:51] We didn't.

[01:26:52] I do really like the exchange right before Alec falls

[01:26:58] where he says, let me guess for England

[01:27:01] and Bond says no for me.

[01:27:04] And it's a callback to earlier in the movie

[01:27:07] where they're like, don't go to get revenge,

[01:27:09] go to complete the mission.

[01:27:11] And so that's Bond kind of being like,

[01:27:13] nope, this is for revenge, fuck you.

[01:27:17] And it's really interesting too

[01:27:19] because the character of Alec,

[01:27:21] he was originally supposed to be an older character,

[01:27:24] a mentor figure for Bond.

[01:27:26] So like it was offered to Anthony Hopkins and Alec Rickman

[01:27:33] but they turned it down.

[01:27:34] And so they were like, okay, we'll get Sean Bean

[01:27:36] and we'll change the role to be his peer.

[01:27:38] And I think it would have been really cool

[01:27:40] if it was like his mentor,

[01:27:43] the person who taught him everything he knows

[01:27:46] to find out it was like,

[01:27:47] that would make it the revenge part makes so much more sense.

[01:27:51] He gets his revenge, which is another,

[01:27:53] it's another elaborate death.

[01:27:55] Like I think there was a moment where 006

[01:27:57] had a gun pointed at Bond and it's like, just shoot him.

[01:28:00] Just shoot him.

[01:28:01] It's like, nope, nope, we're gonna let,

[01:28:03] we're gonna fall and we're gonna do the whole ladder thing.

[01:28:05] I'm like, why, what are we waiting for?

[01:28:07] We'll wait for drama and poetry.

[01:28:09] But anyways, yeah, then Bond escapes on a helicopter

[01:28:11] with Natalia and we get-

[01:28:13] And GoldenEye burns up reentering the atmosphere.

[01:28:17] When they, don't they land somewhere

[01:28:20] and they're in the grass?

[01:28:21] Do we miss that part?

[01:28:22] Yeah, so what's his face?

[01:28:24] Wade shows up and he's like, get on you.

[01:28:28] And then James asked something like,

[01:28:30] well, weren't you supposed to bring backup?

[01:28:32] And he was like, I did.

[01:28:34] And it's all these Marines in ghillie suits jump up

[01:28:37] for no reason, like why?

[01:28:40] Because it's funny, it's ridiculous, it's absurd, it's Bond.

[01:28:42] It's the alchemy, Jackie, it's the alchemy.

[01:28:45] If he didn't come out, were they all just gonna lay there

[01:28:49] while these two go at it like rabbits?

[01:28:51] Because he's trying to tell Natalia,

[01:28:54] we got time to get one in a quickie

[01:28:57] and there ain't nobody around.

[01:28:59] And then it's like surprise,

[01:29:01] there's like 80 motherfuckers in the grass with you.

[01:29:03] They would have rolled into someone at some point.

[01:29:06] Who knows?

[01:29:08] And then-

[01:29:09] That's another classic Bond thing.

[01:29:10] Like I think there's a handful of them

[01:29:11] that end very similarly where it's like,

[01:29:13] oh, finally we're alone.

[01:29:15] And then it's like either we are alone or we're not.

[01:29:17] It's like, it's kind of part of the genre.

[01:29:20] It's the first one of the movies

[01:29:22] where James Bond doesn't end on top of a woman.

[01:29:26] Oh yeah, he does end up carrying her away.

[01:29:28] Yes, and again, going back to things are a changing.

[01:29:32] Yeah, and I like that Wade tells him

[01:29:36] you can finish debriefing each other at Guantanamo.

[01:29:41] Because they're in Cuba

[01:29:42] and they're not supposed to be there.

[01:29:43] So like when they first start this mess

[01:29:45] and Wade's like, we're not here.

[01:29:47] I'm not, I don't know you.

[01:29:49] Like, cause they're really not supposed to be there

[01:29:52] especially as Americans.

[01:29:53] Okay, continue, sorry.

[01:29:54] It is weird watching movies

[01:29:57] or getting cultural references pre 9-11

[01:29:59] because oh, pre 9-11 Guantanamo

[01:30:01] it's just a military base on a beach.

[01:30:03] Like it's just like, but now it's like you say Guantanamo.

[01:30:06] Oh, Guantanamo means something different now

[01:30:09] than it did in 1995.

[01:30:11] Yeah, so when I heard that, I was like, what?

[01:30:13] Oh, I get it, I get it, nevermind.

[01:30:17] Contextual in time.

[01:30:21] And that is GoldenEye.

[01:30:25] Thank God we made it.

[01:30:28] It wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be.

[01:30:37] Well, like I said, I really did try.

[01:30:40] You gave it a college try Jackie

[01:30:43] and that's all we can do.

[01:30:45] Let's get into some fun facts

[01:30:46] before we get into our ratings.

[01:30:48] Let's just pick a few because there's just so many.

[01:30:51] Pierce Bronson has a fear of heights.

[01:30:54] So he was not able to go to the Gregorian dome

[01:30:57] and other parts of the Arecibo Observatory in Puerto Rico.

[01:31:01] So a stunt double had to be used for those scenes.

[01:31:05] I love that Pierce Brosnan is just like me.

[01:31:08] He hurt his hand in his bathroom at his house

[01:31:10] in Malibu before shooting began.

[01:31:13] So in several shots, his hands were doubled

[01:31:15] by his 22 year old son, Christopher Brosnan

[01:31:18] who was the third assistant trainee on the second unit.

[01:31:23] So this includes pulling on a handbrake

[01:31:25] in the Aston Martin DB5, flipping open the glove compartment

[01:31:29] to reveal a bottle of chilled Bollinger champagne,

[01:31:33] using the laser and the opening bungee jump

[01:31:35] and cutting through the floor of the train

[01:31:38] with the laser in his wristwatch.

[01:31:39] Yeah, sounds about right.

[01:31:41] I would totally fuck up my hand

[01:31:43] before having to do something this important.

[01:31:46] I also love that Chris Columbus, the director,

[01:31:49] is a big James Bond fan and he was crushed

[01:31:52] when Pierce Brosnan didn't get cast

[01:31:53] when he was offered the part during Remington.

[01:31:55] He was a phenomenal actor.

[01:31:57] And when the two worked together later on Mrs. Doubtfire,

[01:32:00] Columbus told Brosnan he'd make a great James Bond.

[01:32:04] Even though at the time,

[01:32:06] Pierce thought that ship had sailed.

[01:32:08] When MGM called Columbus telling him

[01:32:10] they were looking for the new James Bond,

[01:32:12] he recommended Pierce Brosnan for the role.

[01:32:15] But speaking of Columbus recommending Brosnan,

[01:32:18] it is cool, like Brosnan would have been a unique choice

[01:32:20] because he's one of the few

[01:32:21] that was not born in the United Kingdom.

[01:32:23] It is interesting, like all this,

[01:32:25] because in my head, Brosnan is Bond.

[01:32:27] Like he is very much Bond.

[01:32:28] He's very British, but he's not.

[01:32:30] He was born in Ireland.

[01:32:31] Yeah, I think the reason we get the British vibe

[01:32:34] is because he moved to England very young.

[01:32:36] So he has the vibes, even though ancestrally he rocks Irish.

[01:32:43] I knew I liked him.

[01:32:44] I love Irish men.

[01:32:46] And then something very interesting was several changes

[01:32:49] had to be made to the script during production

[01:32:52] because the plot was virtually identical to True Lies,

[01:32:56] which was being released at the time.

[01:32:58] So they were working on the fly it seems.

[01:33:02] And because of that back and forth,

[01:33:03] the thinking that Timothy Dalton was going to take this role,

[01:33:07] this script was like very dark

[01:33:10] to match Dalton's darker portrayal of 007.

[01:33:15] So I don't know if it gets lighter in the next movie, Nick?

[01:33:21] But it would make more sense.

[01:33:23] It does, yeah.

[01:33:24] The Brosnans tend to get a little, as they go along.

[01:33:28] A little more cheeky.

[01:33:30] Yeah, a little more campy.

[01:33:31] Because there's always part of the Bond alchemy

[01:33:33] is there's gotta be a little absurdity,

[01:33:35] a little camp, a little cheekiness.

[01:33:37] But I think the interesting thing

[01:33:38] is the good Bonds get the balance in the alchemy really well.

[01:33:42] The bad ones it's pretty clear,

[01:33:43] like, oh, you went a little too heavy handed on this part.

[01:33:47] Yeah, on one of those ingredients.

[01:33:48] Like some of the Daniel Craigs,

[01:33:50] they get a little too heavy on the broody, darky action.

[01:33:53] Like, okay, we're getting too serious.

[01:33:54] Like this is not.

[01:33:56] The Pierce Brosnans get a little,

[01:33:57] they get a little too absurd, a little too campy,

[01:34:00] a little too cheeky.

[01:34:01] Yeah, Dalton would not have done well

[01:34:03] with the cheeky campiness.

[01:34:04] That was out of thing.

[01:34:07] But I find it so hilarious that he wouldn't do campy.

[01:34:10] He wouldn't do this, blah, blah, blah.

[01:34:12] But you're in Beauty and the Beautician.

[01:34:15] Yeah, a beautician and beast.

[01:34:17] Beautician and beast.

[01:34:18] Yeah.

[01:34:19] Was that Timothy Dalton?

[01:34:19] Yes.

[01:34:20] With Brad Drescher.

[01:34:22] Nice, nice.

[01:34:24] It's crazy that Pierce Brosnan only was paid 1.2 million

[01:34:29] to be James Bond in this movie.

[01:34:31] And the movie had a budget of 60 million,

[01:34:33] which with all of the special effects and stuff

[01:34:36] and all of the action scenes, like I see that.

[01:34:38] But 1.2 million to be James Bond in the 90s,

[01:34:42] I feel like that's still.

[01:34:44] That's low balling.

[01:34:46] Yeah.

[01:34:47] It was almost as if a woman was starring in it.

[01:34:50] Yeah.

[01:34:51] Or a person of color.

[01:34:53] No, it would be less.

[01:34:58] If you have any thoughts, questions,

[01:35:01] confused as much as,

[01:35:03] well, we're not as confused as we thought,

[01:35:05] but if you-

[01:35:06] We can explain it.

[01:35:07] If you need more detail, we can explain it to you

[01:35:09] because we got this.

[01:35:10] You got this, you did great, yeah.

[01:35:13] And if you have questions about satellites,

[01:35:14] hit us up at nomorelatebees on Instagram,

[01:35:17] Facebook, TikTok, Twitter, YouTube, and Threads.

[01:35:21] Hit us up, let us know what you're thinking.

[01:35:23] We're gonna start with Nick with present day ratings.

[01:35:27] Yeah, I think if you buy into the idea

[01:35:30] that James Bond is kind of a cultural touchstone

[01:35:33] as a literary character, as a movie character,

[01:35:35] he has significance and importance,

[01:35:37] like just whether for better or for worse,

[01:35:39] if you kind of buy into that,

[01:35:40] I think you kind of gotta buy into GoldenEye

[01:35:42] as part of that.

[01:35:43] Like you don't need to watch all 30 whatever films,

[01:35:46] but like you need to kind of like,

[01:35:47] they're cultural milestones.

[01:35:49] And this one is one of the better ones.

[01:35:51] It's not perfect, but it's good.

[01:35:54] So I don't know, I think I would still buy it again,

[01:35:58] maybe verging on five-day rental,

[01:36:00] but I still, I really like it.

[01:36:01] It's worth seeing.

[01:36:03] If not for just knowing about Bond,

[01:36:05] but knowing what Bond was like in 1995,

[01:36:08] like I think it's still definitely worth seeing.

[01:36:10] I think it holds up pretty well.

[01:36:12] Becky?

[01:36:13] I'm gonna go two-day rental.

[01:36:14] Like if someone were to put it on,

[01:36:16] I would sit and watch it,

[01:36:17] but I'm never gonna put it on and sit and watch it.

[01:36:22] Yeah, I'm not gonna lie.

[01:36:23] I've seen a few of these movies.

[01:36:25] I've seen at least four James Bond movies

[01:36:29] and Pierce Brosnan was my first Bond that I could remember,

[01:36:35] but I was very bored watching this movie.

[01:36:39] I had zero interest.

[01:36:41] I was holding laundry the whole time I was watching it.

[01:36:43] So maybe that, maybe I was bored too,

[01:36:45] I just didn't notice.

[01:36:47] I fast forward a lot.

[01:36:49] Also how we've been trained at this point

[01:36:52] to have it be nonstop action,

[01:36:54] if you're gonna, or at least the plot to be interesting.

[01:36:57] I did not care about these characters.

[01:37:00] I did not care what happened to these characters.

[01:37:04] If they all blew up, I would not be upset.

[01:37:06] Like I did not have an attachment.

[01:37:08] And I think that is a responsibility for every Bond movie,

[01:37:14] knowing that you may be getting someone new.

[01:37:16] I'm not saying you have to dumb anything down,

[01:37:19] but there has to be a reason I'm rooting for this man.

[01:37:24] And I didn't see it.

[01:37:25] So it's a same day rental.

[01:37:27] I'm not saying I'm giving up on the Bond series.

[01:37:31] I'm just saying, I'm glad we got through this one.

[01:37:35] It could have, like if it had three less locations,

[01:37:40] like there were so many locations

[01:37:43] and so many modes of transportation in this movie.

[01:37:46] Just refine it a little bit.

[01:37:49] We don't need the pool.

[01:37:52] We don't need the weird statue graveyard

[01:37:55] and we don't need the train.

[01:37:56] Like just put those things out, lessen it a little bit,

[01:38:00] put that dialogue in other places and we're good.

[01:38:04] I think that what I was missing

[01:38:06] was either give me more espionage or give me more fun.

[01:38:13] I didn't have fun in this.

[01:38:15] I understand because this was such a change.

[01:38:17] This is a big change for them in this movie in particular.

[01:38:23] You're getting a new James Bond,

[01:38:25] like everything is different.

[01:38:26] You're trying to step into a new era.

[01:38:30] So I think it was a little bumpy.

[01:38:34] So yeah, I needed to be, I just needed more.

[01:38:39] Well, we have three-

[01:38:40] Not Roger Moore, just more.

[01:38:42] We have three more movies in our timeframe.

[01:38:45] Three more Bond movies.

[01:38:46] Three?

[01:38:47] So we have this one, GoldenEye,

[01:38:49] Tomorrow Never Dies from 1997,

[01:38:52] The World Is Done Enough in 1999

[01:38:54] and Die Another Day in 2002.

[01:38:57] Michelle Yeoh is Tomorrow Never Dies.

[01:38:59] That's the next one we have to watch.

[01:39:00] Oh, I'm up for that one.

[01:39:02] I can do it.

[01:39:03] If you want more fun,

[01:39:05] there might be some more fun to be had with Pierce Brosnan.

[01:39:08] Well, if you wanna call into our Quick Drop

[01:39:11] and let us know what your favorite James Bond movie is

[01:39:14] or favorite James Bond in general,

[01:39:17] or if you wanna sing us a lovely rendition

[01:39:20] of Stand By Your Man, hit us up, 909-601-NMLF,

[01:39:24] twat us at the Twitters, hem us at the threads

[01:39:26] and you can be featured on a future episode.

[01:39:29] Join us next week as we celebrate Pride

[01:39:32] with Tuong Phu with returning guest Zach.

[01:39:35] And Nick.

[01:39:37] It's a pleasure as always.

[01:39:39] You survived.

[01:39:40] I survived and honestly, I appreciate your kindness.

[01:39:43] This felt much more collegial than the last ones did.

[01:39:47] So this is fun.

[01:39:48] I can't wait to come back.

[01:39:49] It's gonna be, oh, I can't wait to come back.

[01:39:53] That's gonna be a fun one.

[01:39:54] It's gonna be a massacre.

[01:39:57] Buckle up.

[01:39:58] Yeah, so this one was a pleasure.

[01:40:00] The next one might be my last one.

[01:40:04] We'll see what happens.

[01:40:05] It was fun while it lasted.

[01:40:06] And as always be kind and rewind.